Rejoinder

Here is a rejoinder I made to Bro. Gil when he sent me a comment on my previous blog. As usual, his comments are incising and insightful as he is.

Bro. Gil's Email:

First of all, I would like to thank you for sending me these emails - your personal reflections. I must say I am spiritually touched by them. This latest one struck me most.

I could not agree more to everything you've said. There is however, a lingering question in my mind. "How much of your service is addressing the current pressing problem of our community?"

Like you perhaps, I was 'the' top student when I was in High School minor seminary. Every year I was elected as class president even in absentia.
I was the captain of our varsity team, lead musician of our choir, chairman of various committees, editor in chief of the school paper and senior yearbook, then delivered the valedictory address during the graduation. I'd been very busy. But when my classmates and I moved to major college seminary I chose to relinquish the leadership clandestinely. I will never forget when I had to rig the freshman class presidential election so I will lose against a classmate I would like to 'relieve' me of my duties! To this day I have not told anyone about this except my bestfriend in the class who told me that he could not accept the result of the election as he had made the survey and I should have won in a landslide. His disbelief to my revelation has turned into bitterness as he told me that he felt betrayed.He said he had thrown his unequivocal support for me and attracted a number more only to be told that " I was no longer comfortable to be their leader". I had a long talk with him probably in the same lines as your attached email. He accepted my profused apologies but our class had never been the same again. Whenever our group would experience dissention, failed to get the top recognition or "rise to the next level", I bear the guilt of his accusing eyes. This is the guilt which I'll probably endure for the rest of my mortal life.

I must accept that we all have different circumstances in life. My experience can be far fetched from yours. However, I can only deduce similar results, that is: there will be people who will look upon you for leadership once they sensed it on you. And I do witnessed it on you. When Bro Gani et al. requested you to accept (household/unit?) leadership, I believe they were right. I Believe you have the qualities of a leader. What you may not have at the moment maybe is the HUMILITY to accept this fact (that is if we will use St Therese's definition of humility, i.e. Humility is truth. Once I took the pain of approaching a guitarist to applaud his excellent playing. His reply to me was, "Naku, hindi naman". He may thought he was being humble but to me he was just being plain vain modest - an oxymoron term).

I firmly believe Couples for Christ-Australia, particularly our group, is in its current state and is still contemplating "to rise to the next level", is because we always lack the right leaders that will take us where we need to be. So I restate my question: "How much of your service is addressing this current problem of our community?"
But let not my words persuade you. Let us pray instead for the guidance of the Holy Spirit because I believe that no matter how you refuse, if you're just like Jonah, you will not have a choice ultimately when the Lord calls you for service.

Bringing couples to Christ that will renew the face of the earth - our mission and vision, let us instil this deeper in our hearts and minds.

Yours in Christ, Bro Gil

My response:

I was not expecting a comment from you, but nonetheless, thanks for sharing and I greatly appreciate your thoughts. I would like to reply to your question with the following quotes....

The noblest service comes from nameless hands, And the best servant does his work unseen.

OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES

Not the maker of plans and promises, but rather the one who offers faithful SERVICE in small matters. This is the person who is most likely to achieve what is good and lasting.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

To give real SERVICE you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with any standards, and that is sincerity and integrity.

Douglas Adams


In a nutshell, my thoughts of service is not only relegated for the Community. I personally witnessed, long before I joined CFC, how neighbors, friends and even strangers were influenced by the way my family lived the christian values we've been taught to practice. We didn't belong to any community then, no households to lead and no christian fellowship go to. Thus, joining CFC was just a confirmation of that practice.

The pressing problem in the community, as I see it, is not borne out of lack of good leaders. Anybody could be a leader, just motivate them, challenge them, pray for them and show your support and surely they would rise to the occasion. The problem with the community, again as I see it, is the lack of dynamism of the members. We revert back to becoming static after an ecstatic CLP or a spirit-filled praise and worship. We do not keep our momentum because we don't practice the learnings, the values, the truths after those occasions.

Gawad Kalinga, we admit, has become a larger than life ministry of CFC because it keeps its momentum, its focus, its truths and you see the results as they build from one village/house to another. In fact, the World is more aware of Gawad Kalinga than it is aware of CFC. Why? because it has risen to the next level with the help of people who cared, who would spend their time with them, who gave out donations because they see a revealing truth. It is becoming successful not necessarily because of its leaders...but because the genuine concern that its workers have shown and displayed.

What does it have to do with me? I could be good leader...yes. I can be a capable leader...yes. I am ready to become a leader...yes. I am throwing back the question...Would you think that me and the likes of me becoming leaders would address the current problem in our community? I don't think so, because it would be a disservice to the likes of you and the current crop of leaders (who we know are very capable leaders) to think that you failed to address this present problem. You need people like us to brainstorm, to discuss things out but not to Lead.

And that is the premise of my blog...Following the leader - is an action word for us CFC members to do just that, because currently most of us aren't. Not only following the leader also but follow up on the learnings gained after CLP, after any inspirational talk, after any CFC activity. When its members rise to that level, as I believe I and my wife have, then we see people looking up at us a group and they themselves being transformed, being influenced and being evangelized..as what we can see currently with the works the Gawad Kalinga. And you don't need to be a leader to do that.

Just like Luke, the likes of me can chronicle, analyzse, present these things for leaders to be aware of, members to be concerned about and record it for future purposes. And I hope they would listen because we lived, breathe and practice what we preach. And I have already seen the HUMILITY (the TRUTH) as you say and I could comfortably say NO because I know in my heart that God wanted it to be so...not now, not in the near future.

Yours in Faith,

Lorvic

Following the Leader

In the corporate world, there are people who are so-called as business analysts. In the government arena they are called think-tank personnel. In the computing business, systems analysts are their names. The espionage guys call them field agents…and so on and so forth.

These are the people who have immersed themselves and studied the industry where they are in and the results of their work and their deliverables are the stuff that prods their leaders, managers and policy makers to boldy decide what is good for their own respective organization.

These are the people that lives, breathe and practice the trade they have experienced from day one of their lives. The habits and character they accumulated through the years have shaped their lives and their outlook as well as helped shaped and influenced other peoples lives. They are the people who serve the greater whole wholeheartedly by being just there to provide help, offering their advise, sharing their time, develop tactical plans to augment strategic goals. They are the subtle people working in the background..a vital cog which helps drives any group to achieve its goals and mission.

I fancied myself to be one of this kind of people….

This is the realization I got…actually I always tangentially refer to before and after the unit meeting last Saturday with the leaders of the Rael unit’s CFC community. And this is the reason I’ve wanted to express to them (particularly my wife) with regards to their suggestion that I should step up and become a household leader…the ‘real’ reason I’ve declined that ‘offer’ is more personal in nature rather than a performance issue. I really do appreciate the gesture and the value of their appraisal of me with regards to the role…I would if I could, but I can’t, so I wont.

Long before I’ve joined Couples For Christ…I had my share of offers to lead a group, where it be in the neighborhood community we have back in the Philippines or from any group I have the privelege of belonging to. It’s interesting to note that when I was with Coca-Cola for 14 years, I’ve crawled my career way up from a mere casual stores clerk to become the most senior analyst in our group…but never a manager, Though I have 2 colleagues who were just juniors a few years back who did become my boss and the other had been promoted to lead another group. I was never promoted NOT because I was not qualified or just typically bypassed by office politics. I didn’t get the roles because I declined the promotion that was offered to me in the first place…yes...I REFUSED it.

The reason I refused those leadership roles and other opportunities to lead is the same reason I refused the role being suggested by my Brothers and Sisters…because my heart doesn’t desire for it and I know I would be able to contribute my skills and my experience in a position where I am most comfortable and efficient with. Doing something you love with the right tools you have is better than using the same tools in doing something you don’t enjoy doing.

It’s like building a skyscraper…both an architect and a civil engineer generally could be a project manager to lead in building it. But both of them would prefer to contribute their skills in the way they love it..architects designs the building…the engineer sees to it that is built according to the plan. I could be that architect or that engineer, but I could never be that project manager…there are guys who would love to do it (not necessarily an engineer or an architect)…but not me.

I’m inclined to adhere to the Peter’s Principle (as developed by the famous sociologist J.Laurence Peter) which states that..in every Hierarchy, a person tends to rise to his level of incompetence… A person’s incompetence is not necessarily exposed as a result of the higher-ranking position being "more difficult" — it may be simply that the position is different from the position in which the person previously excelled, and thus requires different skills, which the person may not possess. An example used by Peter involves a factory worker whose excellence at his work results in him being promoted into a management position, in which the skills that got him promoted in the first place are no longer of any use.

More so, my perception of a good leader is far from what I have currently in my character and outlook. I don’t have the controlled and Solomonic-like character of Bro. Gani, the spirit-filled St.Paul like personality of Bro. Boyet. The St. Peter like temperament and strong disposition of Bro. Roy. The Elijah type and questioning persona of Bro. Raul nor the ambivalent character of Isaiah in Bro. Edwin. Those five biblical persona were leaders in their time and have had good followers in the spread of the faith.

I’d rather consider myself like Luke, the apostle-writer, never a leader but gained recognition as a chronicler of the lives of Jesus, the apostles and St. Paul. He was the silent companion of St. Paul and his ministry. He preached thru his active work for the poor and care for the sick (he is the patron saint of Physicians). Luke's unique analytical perspective on Jesus can be seen in the six miracles and eighteen parables not found in the other gospels. Luke's is the gospel of the poor and of social justice. It is only in his gospel that we hear the parable of the Good Samaritan. And I could well relate to him in terms of character and outlook…the type of guy who works in the background just like all the people in my first paragraph’s premise.

My wife and I during this Christian Life Program, though physicall drained, are spiritually-fullfilled, when we’ve touched other peoples lives through the service we render to them and to the example we give them. We don’t need to lead others to help them transform their lives. Our actions and the way we live bespeaks for itself. We cannot be sheperds to a flock of sheep but we are part of the good flock that helps gathers the lost sheep or prevents one from getting lost thru the bond of brotherhood and sisterhood.

Our dedication and commitment to this community is part and parcel of our desire to be perfect in HIS eyes. Though we know we can’t achieve that in this lifetime, we know that in the after life, God’s pat on our back is enough for us to feel the perfection we desire for.

And I hope and pray that by this example we have…my children and my children’s children would pave the way for a life worthy of God’s love and grace.

As what Mahatma Gandhi stirringly said… Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy…

MAYBE...

Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Hold onto HIM

The month of May is a triple M celebration for my family. For always, we celebrate our daughter May's birthday on the 9th, Mother's day on 2nd Sunday and of course, Marriage or wedding anniversary of me and Joy on the 17th. It made me think twice about this last night and surely, I know, the Lord has a dry sense of humor for making this month a noteworthy one.

Why is this so? Because this charming daughter of mine, bright and spunky as she is, always makes her mother's nerve stretch to its limit on the way she does things and eventually I and Joy would end up having an acid argument over her. That's what makes this month a Memorable one...May...Mother...Marriage.

But this piece is not really about that. Because at the end of that triple M malaise...everything was patched up and was taken under control thru patience and prayer.

Anyway, our current Christian Life program being conducted in Fairfield, where me and my wife has the privelege of serving, is starting to be bombarded with oppressions from the darkside. The evil one is attacking one of the most important facet of our human lives – our Health.
The loved ones of some of our members and our members themselves are being tested with health and medical problems that would prevent them to serve to this important spiritual renewal of the participants – the CLP.

We then ask ourselves – why is this happening? Why did God allow these things to happen? Last night reading some reflections, I rested my eyes in a verse from the Gospel of John 16:33 “"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace." And a sudden realization came to me then....Jesus has just ascended into Heaven, He had survived the pain and became victorious. He then has just impressed on us that we should and must lift our burdens to Him to have the peace and happiness we desire for.

If I live to be a hundred there are some things I will never understand. Why do some people live, and some die? Why do some people have debilitating diseases and others, perfect health? Why do some have loads of money and others struggle to survive? Why do some get caught
and others go free? Why do some people recover and get well, others don't?

Don't we all wonder about these questions? I do, from time to time, and my answer is always the same, "I don't know." I don't know much, and even less the older I get. My list of questions I want to ask when I get to heaven is pretty long.

In this life, there are a lot of mysteries. We will not humanly understand many things. Yet underlying all the unknowns is the one great thing we do know: God is still on His throne. He is still sovereign, still in charge. He knows what is going on. He doesn't just wake up one morning, look down, and say, "Oh my gosh! Look at that!!"

We may not be able to trust in the system, in people, in circumstances or luck. But we can trust in the Lord God. And the promise is that one day, every tear shall be wiped away. Every sickness, every injustice, every heartache.

Jesus said we will surely have troubles here on earth, but to be undaunted and confident because He has overcome the world's power to harm us permanently.

My prayers to those who are in ill-health and suffering in pain, Yolanda Duque, Joseph Benedict Marcelino, Ronald Sapin. Those who are in recovery and complete healing, notably,Rose Perez. The mothers who are carrying a human being inside their wombs, my wife Joy and Barbra Duque. And for all us, especially those who are serving and those who has committed themselves to serve the CLP, that we rest our hopes and faith to that man-God who gave his whole Life to us so we could live with Him and in Him with the Father in Heaven.

Bottom-line, the answer to all these questions really is- hang onto the promise, and hold onto the Lord.

BE STILL

I'm reposting an article made by my sister, Loreen, for Cebu Daily News....

BE STILL

“When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm.
Father, you are King over the flood.
I will be still and know you are God.”

Beautiful worship song I’ve come to love. It tells us to be still. Be quiet. Know there’s a God. But this is not always easy to be so.

In this fast and busy world where you wish there’s more than 24 hours a day to do all what you need to do, to be still and be quiet rarely happen.

Debts to face. Bills to pay. Careers to push. Business to thrive. Children to take care of. Overtime for work. Like what the song is saying, these are the rising oceans, roaring thunders and storms we have everyday. So how can there still be time to be still and be quiet? The strong stresses that there is a God we must know who rules over the chaos of the world.

Sure, you can say that you always know there is God. If so, why won’t you have the time for Him then? The time for the God we know is quiet time…that personal encounter with him where in the stillness of our being, His spirit is. And then He speaks in our hearts. If we listen well, He will always have a special message for us.

The past weeks have been frenzy for me. Making sure those revenues for our business operation is stable everyday commands a great responsibility for me. And all my senses stay alert everyday…mind boggling, eyes straining (we are in the internet business so the computer is a must) and time-consuming hours of work.

I found myself having lesser quiet time and more computer time; more business thinking than spiritual reflections. In prayer, my body will be postured in worship to God but my mind continues to rush here and there.

No wonder that I seem not to be getting the messages I’m asking from God lately. My questions to Him come back to me hollow. One night, I bowed down and pleaded for an answer to a request I was making. Try I did to listen, yet nothing. I was like a full glass of water overflowing with my own thoughts and plans.

And then I gave up. I realized that if I am full, how can God come through my spirit? It was past midnight when I quieted my mind and gave in to the silence around. I emptied myself of the useless blabbering of words and overflowing worldly thoughts. Be still and know there’s a God.

I got a devotional book and guess what greeted my eyes? On the page I flipped open is a story of a certain Mark who wrote a computer program for his office that enables the issuance of certificates complete with picture files. That day the customer line was rather long so it became a huge problem when the program suddenly conked out! He made several hurried prayers to the Lord and continued to find solutions. Fast prayers and panic combined, Mark was suddenly at a loss.

Then suddenly, he felt the need to be still and focus on the Lord in prayer for wisdom. In a few minutes, that wisdom came and his problem was solved. Not through his busy thinking but from simply quieting down and being still.

So you can imagine what went through me when I read that story at that particular moment when I was also in a frenzied state myself over work and schedules. Then I smiled, looked at the cross before me and sighed, “So, this is what you have been trying to tell me, Lord…all this time.”

I had desperately wanted to hear from God, yet my mind continues to be distracted and so busy thinking my own way that I missed His message. This may not yet be the answers to my questions and problems, but God has taught me to focus first on Him by being still; to give Him that moment of silence so He can reveal Himself to me as my God who is over and beyond all problems.

Read again the song in the beginning of this column. It’s actaully not just a song. These are God’s own Words in Psalm 46:11, “…be still and confess that I am God!”

I am writing this article in a special state of silence and stillness. What better topic to write for you than the disposition I’m going through. And what an inspiration it is to also exhort you to make time for the Lord’s entry in your heart. When you feel exhausted, confused, harassed, panicky and pressured, stop…focus on the God that you confess to know…be still …and then you will know He is there…that He is your God after all.

LESSONS LEARNED

Things I learned (and realized) from the KFC Father and Son bond camp.

* I'm getting old.
I used to run or walk a mile or so and climb the tallest trees in our neighborhood without any loss of breath nor
any pain in my back or legs. But the weekend camp has shown me that I could only do a quarter of these physical
activities with a lot of huffing and puffing. The solution then is to keep myself physicall fit.

* My son is smarter than I am when I was at his age.
My own dad scares me with his eerie stories at night. My son is just amused with my stories and comments that
it's only a work of fiction, exactly those words. I could never ask the questions to my own father the same
questions that were required by the camp coordinators for our sons to ask from their father. Questions like
"What is your most embarrasing moment?" or "What is your favorite toy when you were young" or "Who is you
best friend then". Because if I did, I would only get a blank stare or would just be told to go to my room and study
my lessons. I could not ask WHY I couldn't ask in the same breathe my son could ask WHY is my answer so and
so.

* Nurture and nature plays an important role in a person's character.
I am by nature a fun-loving and boisterous person but I was nurtured in a home where competition is froth
about and strict discipline imposed that sometimes "failure" leads to criticism and rebuke which will make you
hide inside your shell rather than go out of it. And that is why sometimes I display a moody personality creating
a pendulum between my natural self and my restrained temperament.

Lorenz failed to do the wall climbing activity and that night on the tent, he honestly told me he tried to be strong
but he had this fear of falling. He said he cried not because of his fear, nor the pain but because he was
embarrassed he failed. He was hoping that he could be like me, fearless, strong and competetive. But I told him,
don't try to be like me, be yourself and told him that the important thing is be gracious in defeat, be modest in
triumph and treat others the same way you would like others to treat you.

With my son Lorenz, as well as my other children, I nurture them by creating an environment that considers
"failure" an option and an opportunity to learn from it. Obviously, their good-natured character comes from their
mom and their competitive streak from me.

* I don't necessarily need a father and son camp to bond with our children.
I asked myself before the camp why I am not excited with the prospect of having that bond camp. Everyday, I
equally share a bond to each of my current six children that sometimes I bond with them more than I could bond
with my inner self. Lorenz, in fact, is excited not with the time he would be spending with me but with the
prospect of camping that he hasn't experience before.

Having said that, the biggest lesson I've learned from that camp is that a father and son bonding grabs a big part of the male specie's psyche that they would sacrifice their time, their luxuries and their wives(?) to be with a person who could be like them, a person who could be what they wanted to be but failed to do so or be that person who could pass on the legacy that their forefathers have passed on to them.

But most especially, you see it manifest by other male species who have worked hard, rendered the service to make this bonding possible. I salute the KFC coordinators for coming up with this effort. You've touched our lives and I'm personally thankful to all of you for that.

A Tragedy

My prayers for the souls of those students and professors who were massacred by a lone gunman, Cho Seung-Hui in a Virginia Tech university in the U.S. So sad for those innocent people to die in the hands of a troubled young man described my his peers and professor as a loner, anti-social and a senior English student who writes grotesque plays and creative but morbid writings.

I can never fathom or conceive any reason why a person can commit a murder rampage to fellow human beings and then kill himself afterwards. The devil might have really tightened his reigns on him.

In a larger sense, the issue is beyond gun-control as what those politically correct advocates would harp about. It is a malaise in a society and culture which has put God and Christian faith at the backseat of human endeavors. And just maybe, the reason that this gruesome tragedy happened is because modern people are more inclined to look at his fellow human being as an object instead as soul that needed to be saved, a person that needed help, a brother that should have been taught the value of life (his and others) and potential friend that needs a shoulder to cry on.

As I grieve with those families who lost their beloved in the murders. I’m also angry, not to the killer, but for the teachers, parents and peers who have known that Cho Seung-Hui was a psychologically troubled teen and tended to ignore him as such. There was no significant move to help him, enlighten, encourage and motivate him. They’d rather leave him alone with his hatred on society or whatever that is in him that led him to kill. The post analysis of him is a typical reaction from a society that seeks answers on the Why’s a person committed an evil act rather than the How’s that would help to prevent a person to commit one. We are becoming a culture of reactive people rather than a culture of proactive ones.

I can imagine the pain of losing loved ones whose lives were puffed out without sense. But I can also imagine the pain of our Lord as he receives the souls of those who died and the grief He had to endure for losing one to the darkside.

People may die because of choices others make and equally for choices other did not make. It was Cho Seung-Hui choice to kill and it was Society’s choice to ignore him.

Which leads me on a an email message I received today which is quite reflective about the tragedy that happened in Virgina Tech, not so much for the Cho Seung-Hui but for us, society as a whole…..read on.

The LIFEBOAT

Annie was a large, rather unattractive girl.
Actually, Annie was fat.
A member of a youth group, Annie regularly attended most of
the youth functions and Bible studies. During one of those meetings,
the youth leader introduced a situational learning game called, "The
Lifeboat." He instructed the dozen high school kids present to form
their chairs to resemble the seating on a lifeboat. Then he
said, "You twelve are the only survivors of a shipwreck. You have
managed to make it to this lifeboat.

Once you are aboard, however, you find to your horror that there are
only provisions for eleven. Also, the boat can hold only eleven
survivors.

Twelve people will capsize the boat, leaving you all to drown. You
must decide what to do." The group stared blankly at each other for a
few moments before bursting into lively discussion. They decided that
for the good of the majority of the members of the group, one
person must be sacrificed. But who?

As the group discussed who would be left to drown, they eliminated
various individuals perceived to be of value to the survivors. The
strongest and most athletic boys couldn't be sacrificed ¬ their
strength would be needed to row. Naturally, the boys wouldn't think
of letting any of the pretty girls become shark food. Slowly each
individual in the group, with the exception of Annie, was mentioned
and then discarded as a candidate for sacrifice. Some were too
smart, too talented, or too popular.

Finally, Annie, who may not have been attractive but who was
not dumb, blurted out, "I'll jump."

"No, no!" protested the group. But when pressed, they
couldn't think of one good reason why she shouldn't jump ¬ so they
remained silent. When the time to play the game ran out, the group
members announced that they couldn't reach a decision on what to
do. The youth worker went on to teach a lesson using the example of
the lifeboat. But Annie had already learned a lesson. The next day,
Annie jumped. Her youth group had affirmed her worst thought about
herself.

She was of no value. Her "friends" in the youth group were
baffled and deeply saddened by her suicide. After all, she had so
much to live for.

They just couldn't think of what it was.

We rarely look below the surface to see the worth of a person.
Instead, we too often equate a person's value with looks,
popularity, possessions, or abilities. If none of those things is
obvious, then we see no value at all in that individual. But every
human being was created in God's image and is loved by Him. In fact,
He loved us so much that He sent His only Son to sacrifice Himself
for us.

The Big Crunch

Prejudice and bigotry exists in various forms. My wife and I have been at the receiving end of it many times particularly when they find out that I have a bunch of children (six and another upcoming). The negative reactions (disdain, ridicule, jeer, tease, scoff, deride) are far more winning than the positive ones (amazed, pleased, glad, approving).

My wife would often blush and confess to me that sometimes she feels embarrass of other people's reaction after knowing that we have a large family. More often than not, I'd always tell her not to mind what other people say and comfort her that inspite of being a big family - we are actually a happy one at that.

I have nothing against small families. In fact, I sometimes envy them.

But what really spikes my gall is when people ridicule those who have more than six children like me telling us how difficult and miserable parents we are to have to raise this many children. Amusing to note is that I get this comments from people who can't even discipline their only child, works two jobs and pays support for his/her divorced partner. Go figure.
Give me names of a small family who is comfortable and happy and I will give you twice a name of a big family who are equally happy and successfull.

I, myself came from a big family (seven children) and looking back at those times and comparing it now that I have to raise eventually another seven personalities - I can honestly say that me and my wife have learned a lot from life around a big family dinner table than we could ever learn from the outside world.

I came to know and realize that....
- Children learned that what it means have to wait and share (8 people + 1 bathroom = learning to give/receive graciously)

- Children from large families learn to adapt, to deal with annoying 'co-workers', and to negotiate because the feedback is immediate and right to the point--without costing them their job. All are necessary skills for a successful adult life. Yes there are small families who learn these same skills, but it is easier in a small family to keep your bad habits. There's more space to 'go-away' and hide with fewer people to be accountable to.

- I also see - in general - parents more surrendered to being parents and less distracted by running after their own fulfillment. I actually believe that's as it should be. Part of good parenting demands self-sacrifice.

- I think it's really a matter of the parents' priorities than the number of children. In fact, I think most thoughtful parents will make more of an effort when there are more children.

- It's not in the quantity but in the quality. Kids are not expensive. Lifestyles are expensive.

- It is so comforting for a member of a large brood to come home from school and share the joys and the burdens of his/her to younger siblings who ran to greet him/her at the door--his own fan club if you will.

- We parents are often spread thinner than what we want, but we are more able and aware of what children are and what they need so that we can relate to them better.

- The more children we have the more love we have to give, the greater our capacity to love becomes.

- The cacophony of noise from six children is somehow offsetted by the boisterous laughter no comedy show could match.

Again, this piece is not about comparing small families to big families. You may agree or disagree but this is my blog, not yours.

This is a post about our joyous experience having a big family and a response to those who ridicule us, especially my wife for having such. As of this writing, my wife is on her 4th month of pregnancy to our seventh child. And I know that when that baby arrives five months from now there will be 12 arms outstretched, ready to feel the warm squirm of our new blessing. The baby will be kissed by his/her siblings, admired, talked-to, fussed over, adored.
What a lucky baby! I'd rather be born into a home bursting at the seams with love than sterile silence. What a privilege for my other children to see and know they were welcomed just as joyfully. They received the love, now they pass it on to one who is tender and small, fragile in comparison to themselves.

Which reminds me to buy two large-size family pizzas when I go home.....

LENTEN VIEW

As children, we Christians are programmed to “give up” something for Lent. No questions asked, that’s just what you do. Now, I can’t really complain about faithful Christians following tradition that has been in place for generations. But in this practice I can pinpoint the single greatest problem that plagues the common, impressionable man in all structures of belief:

Blind Faith. The practice of doing what you are told to, simply because you are told to.

“Giving up” chocolate or whatever for Lent just because Father Know-how told you to does not, in any way, take advantage of the intellect and free will with which all humans are blessed. It makes you a hamster running around in one of those big creaking wheels just because the man in the white coat promises cheese.

So what exactly do I accomplish by not drinking soda or not staring at my laptop until Lent is over? On the surface, almost nothing. And for the past year or so, I struggled to come up with some explanation to delve a little deeper. This is the best that I’ve done:

The practice of fasting and abstinence during the season of Lent are not a means of torture undertaken lightly or without purpose. The idea is to identify, in some small way, the suffering that Christ endured throughout His life. Be it the 40 days spent being tempted in the desert or His crucifixion or the ridicule and jeer he was subjected to for the duration of His ministry. The sacrifice is made in the name of Jesus, who gave up himself as the “ultimate sacrifice”.

Now that I’ve gotten my sermon out of the way, I’ll apply it to my own Lenten fasts of soda and computers. I seek to accomplish two things: 1) be brought closer to Jesus by feeling even a billionth of the turmoil He felt in His life, and 2) use that sacrifice as a way to view my own vices in an attempt to change my “evil” ways and better myself throughout the year.

In abstaining from soda, I am saving my body of empty calories and pounds of sugar, at the expense of the crisp, refreshing taste of a cold Coke. Because everyone enjoys a good Coke. And my computer, well, that’s a personal thing. I am an information freak and giving up my computer time is exactly the kind of humility I need to endure for Him. It is a simple exercise in will power and fighting temptation.

I hope my perspectives have in some way made you re-think what Lent is all about. If you were considering making a sacrifice, don’t just follow orders. Make it mean something to you, and no one else but God.

And lastly, I would like to share with you below what Lent means to a modern day person - like me...

If we were knives, Lent would be a time to sharpen our cutting edges.

If we were cars, Lent would be time for an oil change and a tune up.

If we were swimming pools, Lent would be time to filter the dirt out of the water.

If we were gardens, Lent would be time to fertilize our soil and dig out our weeds.

If we were carpets, Lent would be a time to get power-cleaned.

If we were VCRs Lent would be time to clean our head and adjust our tracking.

If were were computers, Lent would be time to overhaul our disk drive.

If we were highways, Lent would be time to repair our cracks and fill our chuckholes.

If we were TV sets, Lent would be time to adjust our focus and fine-tuning.

If we were batteries, Lent would be a time to get recharged.

If we were seeds, Lent would be a time germinate and reach for the sun.

Letter to my Son

Yesterday, my son got his UAI a day after he received his HSC results. Though Arvic usually shows his composed and calm demeanour, I could feel his growing anxiousness as he woke up that day. His exuberance finally showed in his voice when he called me up in my office to inform me that he got an excellent result.

I could hear in the background that my wife was literally screaming in delight on his result that her voice sounded like an alien who has just tasted her first scoop of ice cream. At my desk in the office, I smelt a breeze of fresh air past over me and felt serenity in my heart as I thank God for answering me and my wife’s prayers.

Today, as I sat down on my desk thinking and deciding what could a proud father give to a well-deserved son on his recent achievement, an email from Sis Cate Bachar popped up on my Lotus Notes email congratulating Arvic…what caught my attention was a part of her message in this proverbial idiom, to wit…”a well deserved result for a young man with the world as his oyster…”.Wow! that is exactly what me and my wife wanted to say to Arvic – that practically, the world awaits him and that whatever he does he can do just as long as he strives for it.

Well, I decided to write a letter to my son. It’s my way of expressing my thoughts to a young man who is so special and close to me and yet sometimes so unreachable.

Dear Son,

I still vividly remember the day 11 years ago when you were in second grade that I virtually threw the contents of your school bag outside the door in our house in Tagbilaran City in a fit of anger because you failed to finish your schoolwork, you did not submit your yesterday’s homework and you had to pee in your pants at school. I recall staring at you in your face with that hurt and pained look staring back at me begging for mercy and pardon (the same look I got from your younger brother Lorenz nowadays…). Sometimes, I still feel that incident and all other rage and quick temper moments I’ve revealed of myself was maybe a bit too harsh for you. But looking at you now, surviving me for all those years and still able to be your own man somehow justifies my actions…isn’t it?

Well, everyday of my life and especially your’s mom’s life, we were always there for you…training you...taking care of you…disciplining you…guiding and guarding and sometimes to point nagging you so you could be the person we wanted you to be and at the same time have the independent mind to be what you wanted to be.

There are so many things that I want to tell you. Now that you are an adult and you have achieved a considerable measure of success, there are things that you will have to come to terms with and as sad as this may seem, you will have to come to terms with these - the frustrations, the disappointments and the painful realities of life.

First, I would like to apologize that my generation has not been able to collectively make things any better for you and your siblings. Sure, me and your mom may have been able to provide more in terms of material things and comfort - your daily allowance in the last 12 months was more than what I got for a whole year (In pesos) during my time and you have been able to wear more trendy clothes and had the conveniences of unlimited used of the internet and computers, but I know deep in my heart that we have also failed you in many respects. I feel sad for example that you my children has been unable to experience the absolute wonder of climbing trees and chasing butterflies and fireflies, nor the excitement of walking along picturesque places back home in the Philippines because we have to migrate here in Australia to seek the proverbial greener pasture. I could have fought and worked harder to preserve the soul of our race as a people and stay in our homeland so you could grow and live in your country enjoying the legacies that our forefathers painstakingly built with their bare hands.

You are a generation with very few real role models and it pains me to realize that you’ll eventually not know who Claro M. Recto is, or even Raul Manglapus or Jose Diokno. It embarrasses me no end that we have taught you respect and citizenship as theoretical constructs, rather than by example and yet the first one to abandon it. It pains me to realize that you are coming into your own as adults at a time when our leaders back home (and even here) are behaving like children - squabbling and engaging in intolerable screamfests. I am sorry, and I can only hope that you and your generation will do a better job, whether it be here in Australia or you might decide to return to the Philippines.

You may hear me rant about our country, the politics, the weather, the chaos and the noise and how comfortable life here in Australia is…but you don’t know that I’ve always loved our homeland. Life may be a struggle there, but you can see that behind that struggle and daily confusion of life…there is passion…there is fervent hope, and there is laughter. Australia may offer the opposite in terms of standard of living, but I could see most of this generation living here having no fire in their hearts, no fervent hope to make life, in general, be better for the future generation or make a stamp of contribution to humanity. The majority of young people nowadays have floated in the sea of mediocrity and have contented themselves to earn a living, enjoy weekends, raise a family and so on and so forth…and eventually die of old age.

Despite our many shortcomings as parents, there are also a number of things that I am proud of about my generation and I hope that you can build on these. Me and other Filipinos who have migrated in different lands cannot and would not forget the Filipino spirit…the humility, the industriousness, the excellence and the christian values that we fought so hard to restore the dignity of man.

We also tried our darnest to make your lives better and many among us had to suffer the loneliness of working with people with a strange culture and just so you can have that new gadget you wanted for Christmas or that cellphone that gave you license to belong. I personally wished I could have been with you during your puberty years when I have to travel constantly and have to allocate my time to your other siblings. But I’m also glad that you learned to play the guitar on your own as I’ve learned to play it on my own during my time. But I as a techie I have left you figuring out how to burn copies of pirated movies and mp3s. But I had a job and couldn’t be home in time even just to ruffle your hair while you struggled with that calculus assignment. I know that I would have to pay dearly for spoiling you a little with material things to make up for the guilt. But I take comfort in the fact that we share the same blood, and that must account for something. I know that in time good intentions will bear us out.

I want you to know that I am so very proud of you - of what you have made of yourself so far, notwithstanding the way I sometimes bungled up my roles as parent and role model…but not your mother because she is an angel and she has to contend with the devil in me.

I am amazed at the intelligence, the resourcefulness, the pragmatism that you have shown. I look at the way you construct your essays in ancient history and how you were able to answer Jeopardy IQ questions far behind I could remember. I take immense pleasure in realizing that you have learned how to take care of baby Joseph on your own and without qualms. I take great pleasure in realizing that you could figure out the many ways to optimize the features of your cellphone and weave your way thru various RPG and computer strategy games. But most of all, my heart swells with pride when I see how you are able to display affection and pay your respects by kissing to elders even older male members and friends in the CFC community when I myself still feel a little self conscious when I have to beso-beso with them. We come from a generation where showing affection was a sterile gesture and gender roles and rules were a little more strait-laced.

And so, I take comfort in the thought that somehow, the world will go on despite our shortcomings. Because more than anything else, we have taught you how to love; and this we did well.I just hope that You and your generation will truly do a better job.

I pray that you will not commit the same mistakes we have made. The future beckons you, this is your destiny at stake. Grab it. And by the way, take care and remember Dad loves you unconditionally.

Dad

Opposites Do Attract

I woke up in the middle of the night last Sunday from a bizarre dream. Half-asleep and half-awake, I forced myself to stand up and tried to flush myself out from remnants of that nocturnal reverie. I thought I heard music of some sort from around the room when I realized it was only the rhythmic tempo of my son’s (Lorenz) snoring in harmony with my wife’s murmuring cadence of sound coming from her mouth (or nostrils?).

I slowly gazed at my wife’s beautiful and peaceful-looking face beside me and a sudden gush of memories flooded my mind. I’m still in awe and amazed how Joy blossomed from a wispy and innocent young lady I met almost a decade ago into a woman who could stand up with my idiosyncrasies and nurture half a dozen kids. Flashes of past scenes played on my mind – scenes from almost two decades ago starting from courtship years to early years of marriage to a time were we had to raise a bunch of kids and struggle to most of our married life. Then and there, I realized how our bond together as husband and wife has lasted and fortified thru all these years.

After 18 years of being together, both me and Joy have metamorphosized from being mere teens who were madly love with each other and with a come-what-may attitude to become passionate lovers, friends, soul-mates, bold parents and Christ-servants.

I realized how much we differ in so many things but we eventually shared much in almost everything. In my thoughts, I started to list down the following….

At the start of our ‘merger’…

She’s so sociable and friendly to people…I’ve got no social life and I mistrust them.

She’s wise in money matters…I don’t matter money at all.

She’s controlled even when angry…I’m angry when I lose control.

She listens to people…people never listens to me and I don’t bother.

She is an epitome of virtues…I’m a virtual archetype of the opposite.

She loves her mother-in-law…I dislike mine.

My mother adores her…Her mother loves her….(something’s missing, I guess?)

My father is so fond of her…Her father really likes me (unfortunately, he’s not around anymore to confirm it).

My kids loves her more and fear her less…My kids fear me more and they have to love me (or else….)

When she gets mad and on fire…I get furious and ablaze.

After all these years, we eventually….

Shared our secret fears and our feared secrets.

Had six children…(draw your own conclusion…)

Accepted all ‘MY’ faults and weaknesses.

Laugh together even up to the middle of night and cry together even in mid mornings.

My kids fear her more and love her more…my kids don’t fear me anymore, but they still love me.

When she gets mad and on fire…I get cold as ice….(and the other way around).

We don’t gaze at each other much much often, but we now both look forward in the same direction.

And I love her more….

Yes…we had our ups and downs, our cat and dog fights and our pride-laden and selfish disagreements. But who doesn’t. I don’t about you, but since we’ve joined CFC, both Joy and I learned that those differences we have somehow confirms to us that we are truly a couple. A couple is not a pair of similar entities, but a team-up of differing and opposing beings.

It is universally accepted that…

…the magnetic north can only connect itself to a magnetic south.

…you can only make the color grey by matching black and white.

…it is awkward to swing your left arm when you put your left foot forward when walking.

…to play with a see-saw, you have to put weights on both sides…when one is up the other is down.

…to open a door on either side, you either push or pull.

The road of life is not a one-way street but a two-lane highway, they say. Murphy’s law of nature would have stated it more succinctly…Nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right…something is wrong.

With all these in my thoughts, I have come into conclusion that we (Joy and I) are truly blessed being with this community. For I see, in living daylight, that this opposites-attract theory being manifested by the other couples in the community and validates this claim. Each couple’s different ways, habits, attitudes, ideals and outlook makes their marriage work rather than just floats into un-ending mediocrity.

At the end, when a husband and wife accepts each other’s differences and brings the best of each other’s personality and character, you will know then that God’s presence and grace has worked on them and would withstand and overcome any storm and struggles in their lives.

I was still with this train of thoughts when my wife opened her eyes and asked me what am I doing staring at her with that far-away look in my eyes. I told her I was thinking of her and us. She smiled at that because she said she had a dream about us during those times both of us ran away from our homes and decided to be together. But that is another story….

Cut It Out...

There are some things in life that are not simple as it seems. One of those is being a barber. Not necessarily the bloke that you see in barber shops or beauty salons, but the art of cutting another person’s hair.

This kind of art form truly amazes me. For my favourite barber, Uncle Bill, in Fairfield Heights could whack out a decent look of haircut on any kind of head brought to him in a matter of minutes. Looking at him doing it on my flat head seems fairly easy and simple that it prodded me to think that I could do it too. Armed with this thought, I did experiment it using my son, Lorenz, as my guinea pig.

One fateful Sunday night a week ago, I told my wife, Joy, that I would cut Lorenz hair instead of sending him to a barber. Joy at first was worried that I might not do a good job over the kid. But, my ever cost-conscious wife eventually yielded to my persuasions specially when I mentioned about saving $15 on haircut. Anyway, I could always appease my son with equivalent price of two McDonalds Happy meals in case the outcome on his hair would not be good. Now that I’ve covered all these things including the equipment needed like the electric razor, scissors and barbers comb, I started to act on my dream. I was so sure it’s a piece of cake doing it. I felt and thought that I’m prepared to embark to this new form of skill.

Alas, it took me an hour to make out a decent haircut on my son. It took almost all the virtues listed in Bible such as patience, gentleness, steadiness, perseverance and humility on me during that hour long activity. Not including the needed concentration, carefulness, focus and restraint that I have to endure hoping not to cut any other part of my son’s head aside from his hair. I know that one small mistake or inaccuracy would harm or injure either my son’s ears or the back of his head. With all these on the back of my mind, I knew I had to fortify my emotions and my feelings.

To make matter worse, my wife was teasing me…my other children were goading me…and Lorenz was already impatient and crying. Then suddenly, I started making mistakes and I have to immediately correct the hairlines to compensate for the unevenness in cut style and shape aside from carefully avoiding injury.

My dream pursuit has become a nightmare.

That hour long activity seems eternity to me but at the end, I did able to finish with fairly good results. I was so relieved that I’ve overcome an hour-long of struggle.

Now I know that it is not simple as it seems. Getting a haircut or profoundly doing one affects and builds a character in a person. Bro Ganni, during a conversation with other brothers last Sunday’s birthday bash of Bro Boyet and Sis Malou’s son Francis at Cecil Park, has professed that he has to undergo a series of resentments and humiliation when his father took on his own to be the barber to him and his brothers during his childhood to teen years.

But looking at it, the burden and anxiety is not on person whose hair is being cut but on the person doing the haircut. Imagine after a haircut, the person is not satisfied and would criticize you, how would you react? You have several options since you have the razor and scissors on your hand…anger, impetuousness, hurt, vengeful… If on the other hand, the haircut was fine and the person lavish with you praise, how would you respond…humility, gracefulness, and magnanimity. If you were a first timer barber like me cutting a fidgety and squirmy child’s hair, how would you be able to endure that kind of stress?

It’s really not that simple.

Which comes to my mind the incident that happened that Sunday afternoon in Cecil Park when the party was about to end and everybody started packing home. A drunk Aussie guy barged into our place, swearing and shouting invectives and racist remarks to the ladies and to Bros. Boyet and Abe. He was mad that his kid was “accidentally” brushed-off by some of the kids in our party. The situation was very heated and tense that just one small mistake and carelessness would eventually lead into a something violently worse. As I was trying to help out pacifying the protagonists, I could feel the silent anger Bro Abe and Bro Boyet has to endure seeing themselves and their loved ones being shouted at.

I was silently praying while keeping the gap between that drunk and the men that the Holy Spirit intervene and calm down not the Aussie (for I know, the evil one was on top of him) but for all of us on our side particularly Boyet and Abe for restraint, calmness and humility. Though I know, the guy’s words and actuations was really rude and hurtful to the kids and ladies…(in a different time and a different situation, I really would have loved to thwack that mad racist guts)…But we have to take the moral high ground and keep our peace. By God’s grace, the incident never came to a violent point with both Boyet and Abe opted to cool it off.

Like a first-timer barber like me, handling the pressure from onlookers and the struggle to managing the hair and the head is really not that easy nor simple. Nor it is not easy to be in that similar tense incident where anger and hurt is at froth and striking back is a viable option.

But we have been taught, bred, learned and lived to keep our peace and the virtues of a good Christian. And that what makes us survive those struggling times in our lives when our emotions are being tested with people and circumstances beyond our control. It is on those times that we not only talk about the virtues we learned but act on it. Though how aggrieved we might be, we always think about the consequences of our actions and have the guided foresight to avoid a bitter end.

Next time you go to a barber…think not only about your vanity or how bad your hair looks like. Think about the person behind you cutting your hair….the struggle to keep you good looking and his need to feel appreciated…notwithstanding the fact, that he has the razor and the scissor on your head.

Fast Times

More often than not, my wife would always tell me to slow down and take it easy. She really would hate me during those times when I do tend to go over things as if anything and everything has a deadline. This literally means she wants me to control myself and not rush in so many things that I do, think and speak.

I was a true follower of the catch phrase “Need for Speed”. Everything for me then was to accomplish things as swiftly as possible. From small and trivial things to big and important things I always believed that everything should be done quickly and get over it.

Maybe because I grew up in an environment where you have to compete with the best and the quicker you get ahead with the pack, the quicker you’ll end to be successful.

Now I know how wrong that concept was.

I used to be like this….

I eat fast…that sometimes I’m finished with my meal long before my wife would start her third spoonful of food.

I read fast…I used to read a 500 page novel in just about three hours. My wife would often get mad at me when both of us would browse some news in the internet over a computer display because I tend to scroll down the mouse before she could even read the headline subtitles.

I walk fast….Joy and the kids would often lose their breaths catching up with me when I walk in malls or department stores or wherever we are.

I talk fast… Thus sometimes, I tend to stutter when speaking because my verbal faculties cannot cope up with the fast neurons wracking into my brains.

I think fast…sometimes my thoughts goes thru at a speed like all cars on all motorways in Sydney converging at one point and I tend to anticipate what people want to say before they could say it.

I pray fast…I used to rationalize that since God has to listen to billions of people on earth praying, I just need to be quick in praying to Him so as just he can move on quickly to the next person asking for help.

I drive fast…just a year over since I got my license, I already have 6 demerit points because of infringements over road speed limits.

I used to be proud of it…and sometimes, I still think that it has some positive results. I used to equate speed with competency – the faster, the better. But I realized now that it isn’t so.

What made me think otherwise?

I was looking at some old photos of my family and as much as I tried to remember the circumstances and situations behind those pictures – it suddenly occurred to me that I already forgotten what was it then. I realised there and then that Life have quickly past by and I wasn’t able to cherish those supposedly memorable moments.

At the hindsight, I came to comprehend that I was so eager to achieve many things that I thought was important and has overlooked the things that should have been more important to me. I have breeze life accomplishing my role as a father to my children and as a husband to my wife but was not really able to enjoy every minute of it. Why? Because I have taken the road of proving that I could do it quickly and efficiently and not putting emphasis on the value behind those roles.

I also realized that….

When I eat fast – my hypertension increases, I’m at risk having indigestion and possible heart burn is forthcoming. But more importantly, I won’t be able to relish the food and appreciate the one who prepared it.

When I read fast, I only browse the essential points of the story but I lose the prose and the writing style the author has written it. I would fail to recognize the message between the lines and other characters and sub-plots in the story.

When I walk fast - I show impatience. Anybody with me won’t be able to enjoy the beauty that surrounds us.

When I talk fast, it makes an impression that I’m rude and I won’t be able to express clearly the thoughts I would like to share.

When I think fast, I would be treating others as an inferior individual. I may show sensitivity but I would also be at risk of being labelled as arrogant and conceited.

When I drive fast – I would be inconsiderate and I would sacrifice my safety and the safety of my passengers.

When I pray fast – I show disrespect to my Creator. I could never have a true conversation with Him – that should have been the true essence of a prayer.

After a year in Couples for Christ, I’ve seen many imperfections in my brothers and sisters. But that is alright, it is reflective of my own imperfections. Those imperfections made me realize the true value of brotherhood and sisterhood – the acceptance between each and everyone of us that we are imperfect and the desire to improve oneself to seek the perfection that the Lord wanted us to have after this life.

Haste makes waste as they say. And having understood this, I have come to put the necessary brakes in the car of my life. This way, I would be able to prepare for those bumps (misfortunes and hardships) that might threaten me and my family and those humps (adversity and struggles) ahead of me.

Having said that, I have formulated a set of truisms that I will try to adhere to in the years to come. Some of them I read it from somewhere and some of them I made it as my own. Read on….

1. Faith is the ability to not panic.

2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.

3. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.

4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

6. Do the math. Count your blessings.

7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.

9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

10. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.

11. The most important things in your home are the people.

12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.

14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.

16. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.

17. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle -- it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.

18. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

My CLP Sharing

A few days ago, Bro. Roy has requested me and my wife to share something on our experience when we had our CLP just last year. His email just popped out on my computer screen late that Sunday night when I was coincidentally working on the CFC Sydney website. I can’t refuse Bro Roy, how I wish I could, for I always consider him and his wife Rose as messengers of God to our family…the reason is that they were our facilitators during our CLP last year, close family friends, ninong to our miracle son, Joseph and eventually became our household leaders.

So I was thinking last night, what would I share this afternoon. I was thinking along those lines when I saw my 5 year old son Lorenz playing Pacman in my laptop, that old arcade computer game.

It’s that game where a yellow circle with a mouth called pacman eats dots and prized along a square maze and avoids those ghosts in eating him.

I started to watch him play when I suddenly occurred to me That somehow that is how I believe God has been doing all the time in my life, before CLP and joining CFC.

Before joining the CLP last year I pride myself as a person who has the best things in life…a good and loving family, good competitive career, more than enough talent and skills, generally a good person…like Pacman who has also the dots available to swallow and prizes to grab…skillfully avoiding those ghosts who would eat him. Those ghosts are personifications of God who wants me to stop the game of eating away all those goods things and be aware of the greater things that is more important…The real meaning of Him, and be of real service to him and acknowledge my real purpose in this world.

Before I’ve undergone CLP here in Australia, my wife has been doggedly pursuing me to join the CFC (she is also one of those pacman ghosts) in the Philippines. I always successfully failed her not because I don’t want to…but because I don’t have a reason to do so. I always believe then that when you’re a good father, a good husband, a good provider, a good neighbour, a good parishioner…why do you want to push yourself to be a part of a community…you just complicate things when you are involved in such organization…conflicts, gossips, envy, jealousy and stuff like that. You lose your peace of mind and comfort zones. Though I was a God-loving and God fearing man…he was not central part of my life…He’s just there as third party, a peripheral being. I would rather serve man rather serve him and do the work for him…

Secondly, I have always this handy reason that a part of my work (travelling) won’t allow me to.

But that changed over time…like in Pacman, God has sent me multiple ghosts…those trials in my life…I lost my job of 13 years, I did not succeed in my business, I got another job but it separated me from family….I lost all those dots and prizes I can grab and God was on the verge of defeating me.

And that’s when I bargained myself with God…since I was generally a good person, I have earned a bonus round…I promised God that should I be able to successful in my plans to migrate to Australia…the first thing I would do is to satisfy my wife’s desire to attend a CLP at least.

God did not fail me….I was given a permanent skilled visa thru state sponsorship to Australia…Not only that, he gave me a ready job when I arrived here 18 months ago. My family settled comfortably and there have been a lot of friends especially in this community that has helped my family transitioned ourselves for an Australian way of life.

Now I was trapped…I have to fullfill my promise to Him…

So I joined the CLP…carrying along with me the cynical views I have, the bloated ego I have and the quiet arrogance about people. After the third week of CLP, something in me change after I listened to the speakers but more concretely when I saw the people who was trying to share their lives with me and my wife. One of those things I learned was...

I’ve learned from Bro. Ganni the essence of a dedicated leader.

I've learned from Bro Roy the true meaning of service.

I’ve learned from Bro. Raul how scriptures and God’s messages should be part of family discussion.

I’ve learned from Bro. Edwin and Bro Boyet that people really change for the better.

I’ve affirmed my wife’s dedication and desire for me in the actions of our sisters in the community.

And eventually, I surrendered to the Lord and humbly accepted him as a central part of my life. And how wonderful and enriching for me and for my wife to have that experience. I have gained a different perspective of God and how he works in my life and my marriage.

He is not a third party peripheral being anymore but a First party of all my plans and endeavours for my family.

I used to be very a impulsive, stringent and impatient person, I’ve realized that being more understanding and tolerant is not a bad option.

I used to question and mistrust other people’s motive in relating to me. I’ve realized that a person’s goodness and honesty is enough to win my heart.

I used to ridicule my wife’s inherent friendliness and compassion to others, I still sometimes do...but I’ve since shared her attitude and I realize how it lightens my own load.

Now, after one year in the community…It’s still a Pacman game…But this time, in a different version. God has given me the dots and prizes…the small miracles in our life, the blessings and gifts he has provided us…and yet nipping at my back anytime and ready to eat me in times that I’ve gone lukewarm in my commitment to him. I would be serving him by grabbing the right dots in the way and rejecting the evil paths that would lead me astray.

My wife and I would like to join you in this journey in this CLP…knowing who God really is, how he affects our lives, How he sends the Holy Spirit to guide us, and how we could be of great service to Him by serving others.

Thank you.

The Beginning....

Now...I found a place for me to put my thoughts in the right prespective and express myself in the way that I would have always wanted to...laconic, a bit cynical and an attempt to be honest to myself and to whomever would be reading this.

So I welcome you all...and I hope you wouldn't be bored at all.