Opposites Do Attract

I woke up in the middle of the night last Sunday from a bizarre dream. Half-asleep and half-awake, I forced myself to stand up and tried to flush myself out from remnants of that nocturnal reverie. I thought I heard music of some sort from around the room when I realized it was only the rhythmic tempo of my son’s (Lorenz) snoring in harmony with my wife’s murmuring cadence of sound coming from her mouth (or nostrils?).

I slowly gazed at my wife’s beautiful and peaceful-looking face beside me and a sudden gush of memories flooded my mind. I’m still in awe and amazed how Joy blossomed from a wispy and innocent young lady I met almost a decade ago into a woman who could stand up with my idiosyncrasies and nurture half a dozen kids. Flashes of past scenes played on my mind – scenes from almost two decades ago starting from courtship years to early years of marriage to a time were we had to raise a bunch of kids and struggle to most of our married life. Then and there, I realized how our bond together as husband and wife has lasted and fortified thru all these years.

After 18 years of being together, both me and Joy have metamorphosized from being mere teens who were madly love with each other and with a come-what-may attitude to become passionate lovers, friends, soul-mates, bold parents and Christ-servants.

I realized how much we differ in so many things but we eventually shared much in almost everything. In my thoughts, I started to list down the following….

At the start of our ‘merger’…

She’s so sociable and friendly to people…I’ve got no social life and I mistrust them.

She’s wise in money matters…I don’t matter money at all.

She’s controlled even when angry…I’m angry when I lose control.

She listens to people…people never listens to me and I don’t bother.

She is an epitome of virtues…I’m a virtual archetype of the opposite.

She loves her mother-in-law…I dislike mine.

My mother adores her…Her mother loves her….(something’s missing, I guess?)

My father is so fond of her…Her father really likes me (unfortunately, he’s not around anymore to confirm it).

My kids loves her more and fear her less…My kids fear me more and they have to love me (or else….)

When she gets mad and on fire…I get furious and ablaze.

After all these years, we eventually….

Shared our secret fears and our feared secrets.

Had six children…(draw your own conclusion…)

Accepted all ‘MY’ faults and weaknesses.

Laugh together even up to the middle of night and cry together even in mid mornings.

My kids fear her more and love her more…my kids don’t fear me anymore, but they still love me.

When she gets mad and on fire…I get cold as ice….(and the other way around).

We don’t gaze at each other much much often, but we now both look forward in the same direction.

And I love her more….

Yes…we had our ups and downs, our cat and dog fights and our pride-laden and selfish disagreements. But who doesn’t. I don’t about you, but since we’ve joined CFC, both Joy and I learned that those differences we have somehow confirms to us that we are truly a couple. A couple is not a pair of similar entities, but a team-up of differing and opposing beings.

It is universally accepted that…

…the magnetic north can only connect itself to a magnetic south.

…you can only make the color grey by matching black and white.

…it is awkward to swing your left arm when you put your left foot forward when walking.

…to play with a see-saw, you have to put weights on both sides…when one is up the other is down.

…to open a door on either side, you either push or pull.

The road of life is not a one-way street but a two-lane highway, they say. Murphy’s law of nature would have stated it more succinctly…Nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right…something is wrong.

With all these in my thoughts, I have come into conclusion that we (Joy and I) are truly blessed being with this community. For I see, in living daylight, that this opposites-attract theory being manifested by the other couples in the community and validates this claim. Each couple’s different ways, habits, attitudes, ideals and outlook makes their marriage work rather than just floats into un-ending mediocrity.

At the end, when a husband and wife accepts each other’s differences and brings the best of each other’s personality and character, you will know then that God’s presence and grace has worked on them and would withstand and overcome any storm and struggles in their lives.

I was still with this train of thoughts when my wife opened her eyes and asked me what am I doing staring at her with that far-away look in my eyes. I told her I was thinking of her and us. She smiled at that because she said she had a dream about us during those times both of us ran away from our homes and decided to be together. But that is another story….