The Year That Was(n't)

A poignant scene in the 2009 animated movie starring Jim Carrey “A Christmas Carol” was when Scrooge went arguing with his nephew Fred on the merits of celebrating Christmas – these exchange of words before Fred left his uncle’s office after failing to invite him to a Christmas dinner goes like this…Scrooge: What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough. Fred: What reason have you to be so dismal? You're rich enough.

That powerful statement mirrors for me in an oblique way the lesson of this ‘merry’ season, as well as the lessons I’ve learned this year that is about to end – 2010. It reflects our disposition when we act or not react to what has been happening in our lives. Sometimes, our actions are dictated not by the true measure of our self-worth but by ‘feelings’ we have from what we hear and we see around us. We lost track of what is essential – to be contented on what we have and not on gripe on things we don’t have in whatever form it may be i.e. career, family, finance, service, qualification, provision and love.

Of course, it’s not easy to be ‘merry’ when there’s a pile of bills to pay, debts to settle, mortgage repayments to make, broken relationship to mend, children to raise, difficult people to contend with, work to finish up, loneliness to fill, sickness to heal. The difficulty is more pronounced when in the middle of these problems in life is “you” or “me” in it. Imagine these problems happening without ‘you’ or ‘me’ involved. Would that attitude of being worried replaced by apathy; desperation with nonchalance; concern with indifference and unhappiness with contentment?

It suddenly dawned on me a thought that has been surreptitiously swimming in my mind and heart for a while now - That I can still be happy in the midst of these tumultuous problems just as long as “I” removed myself from it and let ‘Him” replace me. Let His plan evolve and not for me to solve. Let me gain His perspective and not my own directive. Let God provide and me to set aside. Let His purpose as my guide for me to abide. It may not be as simple as that…but it is really as simple as that. We lost track of what the main thing is…To keep the main thing the main thing – to let Go and let GOD.

And so to make justice to the title of this essay to parallel the truth of my realization – I’ve made a list of things that this year that ‘was not’ and to highlight what it ‘was’.

In the Homefront…

· - It wasn’t a good year for the company I’m working with – it was a ‘Great’ year as we transformed from a multi-million business to a billion dollar business. What makes it great was the recognition I got that I made a difference – whatever that was.

· -Joy was not keen to be 40, but feel truly blessed that she reached the golden age of where life truly starts.

· -My daughter Alexcie May wasn’t happy with what has happened in her relationships and studies but it gained her a lot of insightful perspective and painful lessons in love and in life.

· -It wasn’t our expectation but baby Caleb came into our lives – we’re now 10 in the family. God added a new blessing to us.

In the CFC Community…

-This year wasn’t a year of local evangelization because we went a step further from our local chapter to missions in Rockhampton, Perth and Solomon Islands.

· -This year wasn’t unproductive for the mums – we were blessed with babies like Gabriela Duque, Abigail Suerte and Caleb Osorio. These bubs confirmed God’s continuous blessings of life.

· -Many plans – our plans – was never realized because God’s plan to bond ourselves in fellowship, mission and prayer has dominated our service and commitment to the community.

· -It wasn’t a good year for many of our brethren who are still sick and ailing in their health. But somehow – their lives has changed and transformed us to be steadfast and persevering as they are and cling to the the Hope that God has promised redemption and healing.

· -It wasn’t an idle year in community activities – All of the ministries have two or more activities that made the year as busy as it can be. The stress is equated by the amount of effort you pour in multiplied by the how much time the activity lasted. And it yet it wasn’t even minutely enough compared to the selfless service the creator of the universe has to endure to be humiliated by being nailed to a thieves cross just to save his mere but beloved creatures.

In the Global Arena…

· -It wasn’t a good year in the global financial market. But it was year that exposes the volatility of our economies and the need to balance and control it. Money is not the root of all evils – the love of money is.

· -It wasn’t a good year for famous people gone haywire (the Woods, Gibsons, Lohans, Madoffs etc) due to scandals and public display of their embarrassing lives. It shows how weak and frail they are in spite of their fame and acclaim – echoes of Fred’s words to Scrooge - how these people’s lives are in dismal state despite of their worldly riches.

· -The state of our planet’s climate wasn’t what the meteorologist has expected and predicted. The constant changing of nature’s laws left many suffering from good produce, loss of shelter, physical dislocation, health issues and unpredictable weather. Desert lands became wet sands, spring traverse summers and lakes become barren soils. But it made us realize that despite of the advances in technology and human intelligence – we are still made of simple ash and only reason we still survive and live is God’s enduring love for us.

With all these things happening…what is in store for us in the new year? I don’t know and you may not know? Only He knows. And that what sustains us – our Faith. The truth that inspite of what the world is turning into – if we only put him First and Above all things, life can be as wonderful, good and as exciting as it would and could ever be. We survived for 2010 years – we shall survive and prevail in God’s hands.

And as we celebrate Christ’s birth in the next few hours…let us remember that we should not lost the spirit of expectancy like most of the world has lost the meaning of Christmas. We cannot prepare for an observance. We must prepare for an experience.

A blessed Christmas to all!

The "Mission"

I should have written this piece a week ago but because of the inanities of everyday modern life where changing my 2 year old son's nappies is as complicated and strenuous as building a multi-dimensional data cube from disparate business systems - has somehow started to drain and affect my fleeting euphoria from a spirit-filled experience. And so I have to press myself in writing down my thoughts on an experience I wouldn’t let my memory pass. A personal life-changing encounter comparable to Neil Armstrong's proverbial "One step for a man one giant leap for mankind" epigraph.

Sounds dramatic. Well, drama would be an understatement when me and my wife had just had our first christian evangelical mission for Couples for Christ. Yes, we were part of a mission team from Fairfield chapter to "establish" a relationship and plant the seed of christian community in the idyllic yet beautiful city of Rockhampton in Queensland - a touch of cliche, yes. I double-quoted the word "establish" for the reason that related phrases like build contacts; lay down the foundation; introduce the CFC ethos; set a mark in evangelizing; showed the way and etc. would not be enough to define the fulfillment of our objectives in that almost 3 day soujourn. But personally, I had chosen that word because it had fitted my own realization of what the mission was - it has substantiated my fledgling belief that God has a master plan after all.

That plan is but a page torn out of God's mysterious master strategy to send a ragtag team composed of "missionaries" whose personal life goals, I guess, were intertwined by a common thread of motivation - the need to demonstrate their desire to practice their faith. It may sound superfluous but in essence this is what I felt with my wife and the mission team. Because what greater reason would it be for a team leader to leave his wife who just had a recent surgery; a family to spend a fortune not to enjoy but to serve, a couple whose spiritual journey is as solid as a rock, a couple whose lone daughter is a living witness of their hunger to see where their faith leads; another couple who leverages their service for having a special child; my wife, even though pregnant has to let go of minding her 7 children to join me, who has to contend with working eight days a week just to have both ends meet...all of which are solid affirmation of Matthew's words (16:24-5)... if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Found it we did...the meaning of life in service. A mission fraught with so many unknowns but yet filled with unplaced conviction that somehow or something will be accomplished. A mission where value was not for the service we've given and rendered but for the rich experience and confirmation of faith we received. And talking about values - it somehow helped put myself and my outlook in life (including my wife) in a different perspective. The "mission" had provided me a glimpse of what life should be and the way it should be treated. The way we were welcomed in Rockhampton without the fanfare but with openness and humility of the "rocky" people has provided me personally of how true christian relationships should be built on - a sincere quid pro quo partnership based on honesty and love between the people doing the mission and the recipient of the mission.

I believe that the underlying principle in all the chapters in the bible is that living in Christ is a mission - Without it, we won't have anything left in the bible except the covers. A missionary is not a church planter or a soul-winner, a missionary is being Jesus to the world. It is ME being MYSELF to the world, but the key here is that the ME is Christ 'as me,' 'in me' and 'through me'. Being a missionary is allowing Jesus to do whatever it is that Christ has created me to do to my fullest potential in the world.

And we have shown that in the Rockhampton mission, the conviction to stay steadfast inspite of the conflicts in schedule, the time constraints, the unfamiliar territory, the untested ability to compress the talks and so on and forth. God's master plan was unfolding - the game should not be played by our rules of engagement but by the guidance of our coach, the ever primeval Holy Spirit. And we realized, learned and accepted that His plan was not only for us to plant the seed of christian community in that place but also to plant in our hearts the seed of mission and true faithfulness in Him no matter what and no matter when.

Passing thru the scenic place of Hawkesbury river on a train to Newcastle and looking at the tranquil waters slowly weaving its current toward the unknowing rail line, I can't help closing my eyes in absolute peace and seeing the mission team being given the sublime pat on the back by that Being we called God and saying to us...."Job well done".

Start Over

I got this from my old notes back in college...

When you've trusted God and walked his way

When you've felt his hand lead you day by day

But your steps now take you another way ...

Start over.

When you've made your plans and they've gone awry

When you've tried your best and there's no more try

When you've failed yourself and you don't know why ...

Start over.

When you've told your friends what you plan to do

When you've trusted them and they didn't come through

And you're all alone and it's up to you ...

Start over.

When you've failed your kids and they're grown and gone

When you've done your best but it's turned out wrong

And now your grandchildren come along ...

Start over.

When you've prayed to God so you'll know his will

When you've prayed and prayed and you don't know still ...

When you want to stop cause you've had your fill ...

Start over.

When you think you're finished and want to quit

When you've bottomed out in life's deepest pit

When you've tried and tried to get out of it ...

Start over.

When the year has been long and successes few

When December comes and you're feeling blue

God gives a January just for you ...

Start over.

Starting over means "Victories Won"

Starting over means "A Race Well Run"

Starting over means "God's Will Done"

Don't just sit there ............ ..

START OVER

IT's CHRISTMAS!

As I sat staring at the luminous lcd monitor at work I suddenly felt the urge to write…

It’s been a while since I had my last piece of creative prose and today, the gnawing feeling to put down my thoughts makes me feel like a boy ready to burst as he rushes to a nearby toilet room. You can just lost touch of everybody and everything around you as you dash and anticipate the glorious relief of liberation.

I suddenly realized that the ‘boy rushing to the toilet’ analogy has characterized my lifestyle this year. A year fraught with last minute, beat the buzzer, neck to neck and photo finish situations where I just had to stretch myself and hold on to holding on.

In fact, my state of being stressed to the limit manifests itself when I’m in a toilet - I had flush it while I’m still discharging myself so I could save the precious seconds in flushing it afterwards…just plain crazy.

The year is almost over and looking back to the events what went through the year made me realize how fortunate (or say how blessed) I am to have emotionally survived the relentless barrage and juggling demands of work, community and family in the midst of sleepless nights and engaging days. The never ending commitment to be there and everywhere.

Sometimes I entertain myself with selfish thoughts that I always toy around when I face (dis)stressful times….

…How I wish my wife and I were back in 1988 holding hands walking around Fort San Pedro enjoying the scenery rather than holding at the steering wheel as we drive and rush along and merely passing by the scenery to be there for a scheduled activity.

…How I wish my eldest son Arvic was still 4 years old listening to my crazy stories while in bed and not the 21 year-old young man commenting on my crazy behavior.

…How I wish I still have my daughters arguing with each other who would I hug and carry around first in my arms rather than argue with me about their boyfriends.

…How I wish I could hide in my room and read the intriguiging novels of the day rather than engage myself with difficult people with different personalities.

…How I wish Life would just simply pass by quietly away from the turmoil and complications of today.

But again, it is that aggressive activity that makes life exciting and worth living.

How fitting it is as I read the Psalm reading for today and take comfort from the verses (PS 1:1-2,3,4,6) - those who follow you Lord, will have the light of life. There and then I know and I believe holds the key to everything that will put sense and meaning to the volatile and myriad entity I called Life.

And as Christmas is fast (rushing again!) approaching, there is but one way to celebrate it every year – a period to allow ourselves to be still, pause and listen to what God has been saying to us for more than 2000 years - Matthew 3:17: This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. The statement broadly means that only thru his Son, Jesus Christ, and by following Him, God’s grace and light would be upon us.

No ardous task is insourmountable…

No difficult situation is tricky to overcome…

No broken relationship is strenous to mend…

No tight finances is tough to manage…

No grave sickness is easy to give up…

No stubborn soul is challenging to save…

As long as….

You lift up to Him or lay it before before the little Child in a manger who has to come down from His mighty perch to be among us and be with us frail humans - God’s image and likeness but besieged with weaknesses of pride, envy, greed and anger. It is ONLY through him that we could ever counter these sins with virtues he has graced us – faith, hope, charity, prudence and temperance.

With these thoughts finally sinking into my mind (and my heart)…I felt a deep comfort despite and inspite of the pile of papers on my desk, the ever growing bills to pay, the stress of raising and leading a big family, the demanding role to support and lead couples (with more or less the same situation in life but with varying degrees of mindset and outlook…which makes it more difficult!).

Now, I can celebrate christmas truly with the right disposition…knowing that somewhere up there a relieved God has just removed a very tiny thorn that has been pricking at his foot for a while now.

Have a blessed season….

Follow Through...

Today, I’ll break away from my self-imposed mandate to suspend myself in updating this blog because it makes no sense yielding myself to insanity. I earlier thought that writing my thoughts online makes no sense because you’ll end up with the Catch 22 syndrome, a no-win dilemna  or paradox, similar to damned if I do, damned if I don’t. You see, here is my predicament…“I can’t write a blog unless I have a time for myself, but I can’t have a time for myself unless a write a blog.

It just makes me insane…

Well, I’ve just thrown out my self-imposition to the window and I’m here back to my old self. Doing what I love most…writing (actually only third in the line after loving God and loving my family).

Yesterday, my daughter Leanne informed me as a matter-of-factly that she got a well deserved 92+ UAI after her HSC. She asked me then if I was happy with the result. Gosh, I looked at my lovely daughter incredulously as she were an alien from outer space and replied in two words “Are you?” Of course, I know she was but before she can come up with a reply, I quickly revealed to her that have I been a father who had her tutored to every single lesson in high-school or who demanded academic excellence like a drill sargeant barking at recruits at Westpoint then I wouldn’t be happy at all with the result. But I’m not that father.

I told her, that as a father, and she can confirm it from experience, I only exact three things from my children…be true to yourself,  believe in yourself and let God  lead you to what you want in life. And all other things you would desire would just follow and flow through in you. (Easy to write that, but I was stuttering when I told that to my daughter).

I proceeded (again as usual!)  with litanies of past life experiences where in the midst of adversities  and challenges, I was able to shine through it all not entirely because of my skills and intelligence. But because I made the choice of believing I can and I ask ed God to give me the grace to accept what fate and destiny would provide me.

Having achieved a certain grade or mark in your endeavors is relative to the effort and sacrifice you’ve made to attain that goal and most importantly what you’ve learned through that whole process in preparing for HSC.

Joy and I, for one, are truly happy for our daughter Leanne. She had to overcome the sensitive issue of being a newly arrived migrant, the exigency to belong, the oppressions of being a sister to six siblings, the pressure to follow the achievement made by  her elder brother and of course the complications of having her first boyfriend. For us, having to overcome these ‘inconveniences’ is an achievement far greater in stature than the HSC/UAI marks she got. Life is like that, the journey is the essence and not only the destination.

I told her Leanne then that this is a start of more journies she had go through and many crossroads and intersections she would encounter to test her faith in herself and God that sometimes she may be tempted the make shortcuts and lose herself in the process.

The greater challenge for her and for each on us, as christians, is along the lines that Ralph Waldo Emerson has once said… Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail (for others to follow) 

Father's Day

Yesterday,  the people of the Land Down under celebrated its Father's day. Australia and NZ has set up a different day to remember all fathers as against other countries in the world, and it is usually the first sunday of September.

Anyway, nothing much happened at home for me...yet everything I've always desired to be on a Father's day have come to pass. Joy my wife, has fashioned out two delicious cakes for me and the family. All my children woke up early than usual on a weekend (8 am instead of 11 am) and over breakfast swapped and bantered humorous stories, jokes and whatever Comedy Channel can come up with...they had a version. The gags  stretched till lunctime in the midst of weekend household cleaning chores and child-minding. The noise in the house reverbated with boisteroous laughter and frenzied exchange of hilarious stories and tales from the family's past and future expectations.

Because of the early and hyperactive activity we had that morning, all of us had a quiet and peaceful nap in the afternoon. After peeking into each of my childrens room and saw all of them soundly asleep - the silence and solitude of our home and a gentle breeze of cool air in a late and warm afternoon somehow overwhelmed me with peace and serenity I haven't felt for a while. During that still moment I prayed and thanked God for this wonderful blessing of life and family. 

I wouldn't exchange that few minutes of heavenly peace, silence and serenity I felt with any promotions, material wealth, recognition or any worldly lure of this world. I have what many people in the world didn't have - a  wonderful wife, a warm and adoring children - a family that defines LOVE as both a subject and a predicate.

My family gifted me yesterday with things without having spent a single cent...Joy cooked me my favorite food, Arvic hugged me when I woke up, Joylene scripted a comic style card with anecdotes, Lorenz gave me a handwritten card, May tried her best to shut her mouth up, the two little ones gave me their best smiles and lastly, Leanne, wrote me a letter that made me misty-eyed for few minutes...read on...

Dear Dad,  

      I am sitting here tonight with my laptop; contemplating on ways on how I can express my heartfelt gratitude to you as being the world’s number one dad as best as I can. As much as I want to buy you that coffee machine you always adore or another gizmo gadget containing how many God knows what gigabytes; I’m currently unemployed and only have few pennies in my pocket. Yet it doesn’t mean that I could not express my deep gratitude for you. After all, I know you’d rather opt to choose Lorenz’s handwritten card that he would painstakingly draw for you than gushing over a new coffee machine. So I guess my Father’s Day gift for 2008 would be through this prose coming from the deep recesses of my heart and memories.

      For eighteen years; I have seen different types of dads everywhere and I can tell you; no one would ever equate or be better as you. You gave up your youth; you gave up your idealistic dreams and goals for yourself and decided to take on the responsibility to be the father of my mummy’s child. I can tell you now, that it was a brave decision for you to do it. Mum always told me that it was a mistake for both of you to settle together way too early. Yet she always stresses that you have tried your best to stand firm on your decision and continue to fight on even when the tides of hardships and struggles would try to sweep you away. You always reassure us that everything will be fine and you have everything under control. I truly salute you for that and I am forever indebted.

      But Dad, for the last few years; I am starting to see the struggles beyond the creases of your forehead and I realise that you too can be futile and weak at times. Your strength and courage sometimes makes me forget that you are still human too and you have flaws; frustrations and weaknesses too. Sometimes, I shake my head and try to tolerate your moods; your obsessive penchants over time and punctuality and your high levels of stress. I can understand that for it is not easy to handle seven kids with distinctive personalities. It is not easy for you to be a breadwinner of eight people living in a foreign land; away from your parents and the rest of your family. Yet despite of your flaws; you seemed to look perfect and in control most of the times. You try to correct your errs; improve on your skills; mend broken pieces as possible; putting up our own flaws and misdemeanours and try to be patient. Slowly I realise that being a dad for seven kids is very arduous. Yet you strive to be the best dad by providing us the best of many worlds to us. Whenever I feel down and feeling lost at sea; I would stop and think about you and mum.  Both of you have sacrificed and endured a lot of painful realities of life that I would never experience in my own lifetime. I am truly thankful for that for eternity. 532 words is not enough for me to express my heartfelt appreciation for all the things you have done for me in the last eighteen years. I hope this piece of letter would still remind you that I love you dad and no one can replace that love and inspiration; regardless of how much salary I would earn in the future or how many boyfriends I would have.( heheheh) You’re still my number one man. 

HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!! 

Driving Lessons

As I was lying in a hospital bed beside my sick son, Joseph, I felt a sense of peace and solitude I haven't experienced for a long time. 18 hours ago, my near panicking wife and I bitterly argued whether to bring Joseph to the hospital or not. My wife adamantly wanted to bring him immediately and I, the stubborn mule, was against it arguing to wait for my son to let his rackety tack coughing subside at the same time trying to avoid the stress and burden of a hospital stay.

I finally relented to my wife's wish, after I silently prayed to God for help and discernment. As usual, my wife was right – my son had mild pneumonia with asthma complications and it was the right thing to do, as the doctors said, to have brought him to the emergency immediately.

I felt so ashamed of myself risking my son's health and life because of my stubborn attitude. I was not listening to God when Joy and I were praying over to him. In that brief moment of time, I succumbed to the temptation of the flesh and selfishness and did not rest my faith in Him. I failed the values I preached to others – I failed to let go and let God guide my decisions.

Now as I look at my son peacefully sleeping, I had to kneel down beside him and silently asked forgiveness to this beautiful boy of mine. I cried and after that I felt a sense of peace and comfort embracing me at that moment. God was touching me, reminding me not to worry and quitely admonishing me.

That moment gave me some thoughts and reflection on how we (as Christians) deal with stressful situations and difficulties we have in life. We tend to, first and foremost, rely on our human capacities to solve problems and resolve struggles and oppressions we run into each day. We forgot (unconsciously or consciously) to pray first and ask God for help.

Think about it, if our life is like a car, where would be God in this car of our lives?

Some of us would put God in the boot of our car. Where you will only pull him out during Sunday happy hour or religious event (like Christmas or Easter), display him, and afterwards stuff him back on the boot.

Some of us would put him in the backseat of our car – visible on our rear view mirror while we drive towards our destination. We make him only a passenger we can talk to, keeping us company so as not to bore the driving trip. A few those, put him in the front of the car, yet still a passenger.

Now many would argue that God is driving the car of their life. If that is so, the next question would be, where are you in that car? Some of us (like me, I guess), even though God is driving the car, are backseat drivers. We argue and squabble with Him on the route we choose to go. At a roundabout, God would try to turn right to the street of Forgiveness and we bicker with Him and tell Him to drive into the road to Hate and Selfishness. At the next traffic light, God would slow down to the lane of Humilty and we'd rather tell him to go straight ahead to the avenue of Pride.

We always fail to let Him drive our car by His will on the best way he knows. We'd rather think, our route and our way is best for us. And still, because of our stubbornness, when we are lost along the way or encounter 'car accidents' in our life, we blame Him for his driving ways.

Come to think of it, we never let him lead us the way. When we started renewing ourselves with our Christian faith, we are just like the 'L' learner drivers – God the instructor is guiding, teaching, inculcating in us the right and the best to drive. And once we get our 'P's (sometimes equals to Pride), we forget about them displaying to the whole world our hard-earned driving skills.

What happened a few days back is a bitter lesson for me – that not to depend on me and always let God drive and guide my decisions – for he is and will always be…The Way, the Truth and the Life.

DOUBLE 4

The title of my post today is not a pseudonym of a spy but a representation of my age as of yesterday. I would have liked to celebrate my natal day with rants about anything else but my scholarly daughter Leanne jumped the gun on me when she hastily wrote me a poem she delivered as I woke up on that momentus day, my other daughter May gave me a card with her message, another daughter Joylene drew a sketch of her and me walking. My son Arvic gifted me with tennis racquet built on nanotechnology...and of course my wife gave me things that is of practical use that I would never buy myself...

Well, here's Leanne's poem: (I finally realized how well she writes...)

You were 24
When you first held kuya
In your hard work clipped hands
For the very first time
Two years and two months later
You celebrated your 26th
With mum and two babies at your side
A little boy who just turned one and a toothless baby girl

You turned 28
While mummy was 7 months due
With another XX chromosome human
I could not remember what it really happened
And neither Kuya did
The pictures too, failed to capture it as well
But I bet mum could still recall everything

You blew your 31 candles
It was 31 plus 4 days after my youngest sister was conceived
She was this scrawny and a screaming machine
You came home from work or either it was during the weekend
I did not forget that we ate mum’s cake inside our humble house

Five years later, you woke up on your 36th birthday
Mum was still six years younger than you (and still is!)
As the sun rose up in our primitive glass windows
It was three months since the Y2K kicked off
You were 36 with 4 mouths to feed
And another baby on the way..

It was the year 2006
When you were officially 41
It was autumn and the leaves were falling madly
In our new Australian backyard
We were wearing cardigans and the folks from home called
Singing "Happy Birthday" in muffled tones from miles away
Mum was feeding baby Joseph; your first aussie child
And your five children were happily playing badminton outside

I could look up to Google and type March 15
And itll give you millions of results
Millions of March 15’s..
Of both past and present tense
From Caesar’s death to Andrew Jackson
The Word of the Day, The Daily News
And the "This Day in History"
Yet why should I bother?
They are all infinitesimal
They do not matter

All I know is that
Four decades and four years ago
My dad, my hero and my mum’s love
Was brought here from the heavens
and I’m thankful he did
He has not disappointed any of our birthdays
And we will not miss his one as well!
He’s the greatest!

This may sound so childish and silly
Like eating a marshmallow pie
I hope you do like this poem
Though it does not have
Any iambic pentameter
Nor it does not rhyme…
I wish you more years to come
More than the total sum
Of all the numbers here
We wish you blessings
Hundred times over
More than we could ever think of

As your seven children and your wife sing you
Birthday greetings full of love, cheer and happiness
Don’t forget well be always here for you
As you are with us
Throughout the years passed and the years to come
So Happy Birthday Dad!!
From our toes and the tips of our hair
WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!!!

A Time for Grief...

In the midst of several grieving brothers and sisters we have (including me) on the loss of loved ones, we may tend to contemplate and ponder on death, whether tragic, sudden or anticipated and ask WHY this is happening. Some really good questions have arisen that take us into the heart of God, suffering and life. I thought I might spend a bit of time on the blog answering some of these questions asked (I asked).

There are times, we look above and incredulously ask Him the following:

* Why is God letting this happen to me (or mine)?
* Why do good people suffer?
* Couldn't God have prevented this bad thing from happening to me?
* Why should I serve God? Look what's happened to me.
* I've been faithful to God all these years, and look what He's done to me.
* I gave up everything to serve God. Why is He allowing these things?

While these questions are quite normal coming out from out thoughts and emotions, I came to realize we are asking the wrong questions using the wrong premise...That if I am a good Christian and do everything I think God wants me to, He will always take care of me and my loved ones; I am safe and will not suffer.

If we read the Bible and the underlying scriptures you will realize that where in scriptures are we promised health? Where are we promised wealth? Where are we promised anything except that God loves us and will not leave us? Where does it say that our mate will not die? Where are we promised our children will be healthy? God does provide and God does care for us and God does watch over us, but does He guarantee? Does it mean you are favored of God if nothing bad ever happens to you?

Seems like many believers like me have a really hard time realizing that there are no guarantees in scripture for believers other than the two basic ones, and that is..God loves us and will never leave us.

The number one question I've heard is a variation on "why on earth would God let something like this happen? He or she's an amazing person who is serving God. Of all people, why him/her?"

The short answer is always disappointing: I'm not sure we specifically know why it happened. We can talk about he was sick, a robbery, a car losing control etc. But underneath is a bigger idea of God we need to name. I wonder how many of us still carry a picture of God as a puppeteer who directly pulls every strings in our lives? That view of God often blames God for all the bad in our lives and in the world. (Rarely does it give him credit for good, though).

I'm not sure that's the picture of God we get in the Bible. Occasionally God is shown as directly causing calamity -- but not often, and most often not individually. Every death or tragedy that happened in the Bible is not described as the result of an angry God harming people. Even Jesus infers that tragedy is often random. And the overall picture of God in the Bible is of a God rescuing people from a very present and real evil.

The Bible paints a picture of a world that was once ideal (in the beginning), became corrupted (when sin entered the world) and is in the process of being redeemed (through the cross, resurrection and second coming of Jesus). While we long for heaven, we don't live there yet, and the world we in fact live in is one deeply scarred by sin. If an analogy is helpful, it's like buying a new computer that runs perfectly for a while and then gets infected by a virus. When the virus invades it, things are still recognizable, but nothing really works like it was supposed to. That's what life, infected by sin, is like. Good people get hurt. "Bad" people live to be a 100. It's just corrupted.

I'm not sure we know why bad things happen to good people other than the whole system has been corrupted, and nothing is as it once was or will be.

But -- and this is a huge but -- God's redemptive purpose can be at work in every situation. Joseph perfectly illustrates how God can take a terrible situation (He was sold, was a slave, imprisoned) and use it for good (Helped the pharaoh, saved the land from famine, reunited his family). Similarly, God can take all things (good and bad) and use them somehow for his glory if we submit them to him.

I think if we keep framing the question the way we usually ask it (why do bad things happen to good people or why did God let this happen), we'll always be disappointed with the lack of an answer.

If we re-frame the issue in recognition of the fact that we are still living in a fallen world, and ask it this way -- what can God do in the midst of this bad situation if we offer it to him? -- we might be surprised to see what can happen in our lives.

This isn't a neat and tidy answer, but it has helped me immensely as I've tried to make sense of the pain in my life and the pain I've experience in other people's lives and situations.

Let us continue to pray for the souls of Loreto, Elena, Raymond and Ada and for comfort and solace to families of Sis Chona Pasion and Sis Cate Bachar in these days of pain and grief.

A Humble Thank you....

Peace Borthers and Sisters...

First and foremost, please know how blessed we are to count ourselves part of this community we have. There is simply nothing we can write to adequately express our deep feelings of gratitude for the kindness and compassion you have shown to our family since my Dad passed away and the sincere effort you've shown to be with us in the 9 Days Novena prayer for him.

It is literally impossible to quantify and properly thank you for all of the prayers you have prayed, the meals you have delivered, the words of comfort you have offered, the thoughtful tributes you have conveyed, and the kind expressions of sympathy you have provided to us. The monies you have shared were ample assistance as we have sent it to my family in the Philippines.

We hope you will understand how our family has found comfort in the unique and continuous ways so many of you have expressed your concern for us. While our sorrow has indeed been stretched, we have felt God's tender love and embrace directly through you and your faithful kindness. As you continue to care for us and share your condolences, we are reminded of and comforted by the fact that my Dad has a bountiful of people praying for him as he await the gates of heaven.

We also would like to inform you that thru your prayers, our baby, Caiden Luke, has been cleared of his gastro-kidney problems after several tests in Westmead Children's hospital and would no longer need to continue the medicines//antibiotics he has been taking since he was born. The Lord may also be praised for showing negative results for Sis Joy who has undergone breast ultrasound after complaining to a strange lump and painful numbness in her breast area.

Once again, Sis Joy and our children sincerely appreciates your kindness most especially to Bro. Ganni and Sis Flery, whose guiding force and untiring service truly reflects the christian leadership that is needed during these trying and uncertain times in our community. We ask that God to continue to give them and all of us the strength to walk by faith.

We found solace in God's loving mercy and are truly humbled by your kindness and presence during the Novena prayers.

In faith and may God be always praised...

Lorvic and Joy Osorio

Another chance

A tribute to our Dad, Loreto written by my sister Loreen.

ANOTHER CHANCE

Last weekend, my dad , at 79 years old, passed away. I once wrote in this column how I have gone through many years of bitterness against my father and that even when he finally got so sick, it took me some time to accept him back. I totally ignored the eventuality that he will pass out of this world without my forgiveness.

But as I have already shared before, God healed me from my hurts and pains and ever since I started to forgive him and cared for him, it was a liberating experience for me. I never felt so happy and peaceful. That is why when he did pass away last Saturday evening, I bore a mixture of feelings---loneliness and relief at the same time.

I felt a sense of loss because no matter how he has lived his life, he was still my Dad. I owed my life to him. He gave me the best foundation in education that made me what I am now. I inherited from him the passion and dedication towards all things I do and he taught me to be emotionally strong and persevering.

At the same time, I also felt relief and peace that he was finally laid to rest from all the physical pains he had endured all these years. As my younger brother said, “Daddy has redeem himself with his suffering and peacefully died in God's hand.”

My Dad struggled with the Alzheimer’s disease and in the last few months, battled with severe anemia, prolonged pneumonia, lung infection, bed sores, bacterial and streptococci infections of the skin, severe muscular atrophy, deep compression of the T12 spine (which left him open to paralysis in case of a hard fall), and severe scolosis (because of his age). But despite these complications, we knew his mind and ears remained alert because he still responded actively.

Lately his condition started to deteriorate and we often wondered what he was still hanging on to. We could not help but pray to God to please end his sufferings. But he continued to hang on to dear life.

That fateful Saturday night, a friend advised me to just offer my Dad’s suffering to God since these are actually purifying and cleansing him spiritually; and that at the end of all suffering, will be heaven. She said I should let God deal with my Dad in His loving way because the suffering is really redeeming my Dad for God.

I felt good that night. But not for long. I got the alert call to rush to the hospital, but I did not make it on time. He was dead upon arrival. I shamelessly cried and for a while, wanted to shake him back to life. But God’s peace came over me and the rest of the family all throughout the wake, the burial and I am sure in the days to come.

One beautiful message I got from my Dad’s death is God’s amazing love and grace. Who would have given him a good stretch of period to redeem himself from sin through suffering but God alone? If God so willed it, my Dad would have died anytime without receiving communion regularly, without confessing his sins, without asking forgiveness from the people he hurt, without surrendering his stubborn streak and show humility and gentleness.

But God, in His all loving grace, allowed him to live long enough to do all these things. God made use of Dad’s suffering period to teach him to pray even more and come closer to His presence. We saw all these happen and I can not express enough thanks to God for the chance of redemption for my Dad.

I believe that every day is God’s way of giving all of us a chance to redeem ourselves from any sin ; to turn away from the worldly life and seek God above all things. And so every time we are able to still wake up in the morning, we need to say, “Thank you God for another chance. What is it I can surrender to you in exchange for a place in Heaven?”

If we can only have this kind of eternal perspective ---making sure that every day is lived in a way to ensure a life in heaven. But the way it is today, material possessions, reputation, popularity, and the pleasures of the senses have become of paramount importance. We devote almost all our time and energy to obtain these things and sadly, engage in many negative actions for their sake.

But God so loved us that He will do anything EVERY DAY to call us to let go of worldly concerns and instead give more room for genuine spiritual practice. He lets us breathe each day to give us this chance every day to obtain our salvation.

“Thank you Lord for being so patient with us…for loving us so much that You not only gave Your only Son, but you still continue to give us a chance to redeem and save ourselves for Your Kingdom.”

My Dad, through his suffering, had just received God’s gift of salvation. As a tribute to my Dad, I would like to quote my cousin who loved my Dad as her favorite uncle. She wrote: “You know and will always remember that your Daddy had only his family's - most especially his children's - best interests at heart. Make no apologies for that. He worked to provide the best for all of you to prepare you for a better future. I saw that - we all saw that - and, fully understood. I hope that you will always keep that knowledge in your hearts.”

I know that we, his children, have all turned out to be a great source of credit and pride to him. And we are proud of him, too. Truly, his life has not been in vain. Find rest in God’s loving arms, Dad!

WHEN WE WORRY...

For us all (most especially in the Perez Household) who are experiencing oppressions, worries and challenges at the moment. Let me share you my thoughts and I hope and pray it may somehow lighten the burden we are carrying...

Please continue to pray for healing to Sis Rose, Ronald Sapin, Yolanda Duque, Joseph Benedict Orlan and my own Dad Loreto. And most of all to Bro Roy and his family - his Mom and siblings in the Philippines - who are at the moment being barraged by ill-health and gloominess within their ranks.

Hold on and keep the faith...
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WHEN WE WORRY....

You've been on my mind and heart. I see you struggling and planning, worrying and sweating, crying and running, at a furious pace. You're trying to move that mountain by yourself again, huh?

God asks that we cast all our cares on Him because He cares. Think about what your worrying says to God when you refuse to give things over to Him.

When you worry about money, you're telling Him that He is unable to provide for His children ...that although He has riches beyond belief in Heaven, He is too stingy to share them with you.

When you worry that no one understands you, you're telling Him that although He has been with you since before you were formed in the womb, and has carved you into the palm of His hand, He doesn't know you.

When you worry that you will not have enough food, you're telling Him that although He rained down bread from Heaven in the desert to feed His children, you are the one He's forgotten.

When you worry that your enemies will have victory over you, you're telling God that although He has given you spiritual battlegear to defend yourself, that despite His track record of being a giant slayer, Red Sea divider, lion mouth closer and a furnace cooler, He can't handle your co-worker, your neighbor or a former friend.

When you worry that your children have decided to follow the world instead of your example, you're telling God that He doesn't keep His promises.... That despite the fact that you have raised them up in the way they should go, they'll stray because basically, He lied.

When you worry because the doctors told you that a cure is impossible, that healing is impossible, you're telling Him that this world controls your fate. You're saying that prayer time with Him is nearly something to pass the time. You're saying that although He can raise the dead, make a virgin conceive, open the womb of a woman well past eighty, heal a 12 year issue of blood, make the blind see and the lame walk, He can't help you.

When you worry that you won't be able to do enough to earn forgiveness, you're telling Him "that's ok Lord, no need for Your Son to die, I can earn my own forgiveness. " Let's just act like Jesus never died, and tell Him never mind, that He doesn't need to go to the cross.

When you worry that no one will love you, that you'll be lonely for the rest of your life, you're telling Him that His love is insufficient ... that He couldn't possibly love you enough to ward away loneliness. You're saying that although He has promised life more abundantly, He was lying .... that despite the fact that He started off saying that it is not good that we be alone, He's changed His mind.

When you worry and refuse to give the problem over to Him, you're telling Him that although He could create the world, He can't handle what's going on in your world, so you will. You are saying that He won't work things out, that obstacles cannot be overcome, that mountains can't be climbed, that healing cannot occur, that what is lost will not be found, that joy does not come in the morning, that He is not the God of a second chance, that the promised land has been swallowed up by the desert, that you have discovered the height, depth and width of His love and found it to fall short of your needs.

Think about all that you're saying to the one who loves you the most and who has all power, really think about it. Then open you hands and release what you've been holding onto. Bow down on your knees and ask Him to forgive you for doubting Him. Walk away with a peaceful heart and note the footsteps that go before you to make the crooked places straight, a way in the wilderness, and later springing forth in the desert.

"Stand in a stream with waters around your ankles. The waters that pass by you at that moment, you will never see again. So it is with the misery that has challenged your life ... let it go, let it pass away."

Deadlock

My wife kept on prodding me to write down my thoughts about what is happening to the community we have committed our Christian lives to serve and belong to…The Couples For Christ. I tried to keep my peace and my thoughts only to myself for I generally believe, it doesn’t concern me and doesn’t affect me at all.

Five months ago, I already heard the rumors then, followed by emails from my CFC friends in the Philippines, Canada and the U.S about the rift within the CFC leaders. After a while, blogs and forums were sprouting from here and afar with regards to the situation within the organization. I read them all…and yet, I still feel not attuned with the facts of what is it happening. I should have been, because this is the community that I’ve truly seen and witness God’s work being manifested. But strangely, I felt apathy.

I think the real issue is largely theological and to a certain extent, ideological. CfC is a 26-year old organization and debates over its identity and core mandates should be expected. It has become too big, and history will tell you that there'll tend to be some differences in philosophy in such an organization, and eventually, polarization will set in. This sort of insight may seem trite, but I simply think it's the natural cycle of birth and death (and possible rebirth) of such an organization.

There and then I feel I don't really care if CFC splits up or becomes one again. If it simply dies, it has served its purpose. If it dies and rises from the dead, it will serve its purpose as a different entity. If it runs its course by splitting into two or more entities, well it's not like that never happened before. That's how CFC was born in the first place

Then finally, the news from the media came in and both groups of the organization, CFC IC and CFC-FFL officially announced their parting of ways. So sad, The organization that has been renowned for its resolute commitment to keep marriages intact will soon join the ranks of the separated and divorced. It seems its leaders could not work out the marriage within the ranks; no amount of mediation and counseling have been successful in bringing the warring camps together to resolve their issues. Even the valiant efforts of the bishops have been in vain.

Up to now, I wonder what ever happened to the years of CLPs, teachings, covenant orientations, the one on one’s that should have fortified the spirit of unity, humility, meekness of heart and peace that the personalities involved had undergone and taught others to inculcate in their lives. That thougth kept lingering on me like a gum stucked on the soles my shoes all day long. Trying to remove requires bending over and use all your patience to slowly take it off and in the process keeps you thinking why, how and when it got stucked there in the first place. The same thinking process happens when you read all the ‘facts’, the truths, the half-truths and realities of what is happening in our community…the doubts, the misgivings and the suspicions are starting to creep in.

I won’t dwell on what has happened, it’s all water under the bridge now, as they say. What I want to table now is what would happened to us here members in Australia…where do our obedience (or loyalties) lie? What is in store for us in the future? I’ve started to realized the flaws of my being apathetic is not option…for I see the rippling effects of the division in Manila has brought some unpleasant taste for the leaders here in Australia.

My wife forwarded me an email sent by Bro. Oliver Molina. His email, though his personal views and thesis of what lies ahead for CFC Australia, is reflective of the confusion as well as the dillemna of our present CFC leaders and members as they struggle to find the direction our organizaion is headed to. He has validly laid out the options and the repercussions of each possible scenario if and when the leaders and members finally decide. A very calm and peaceful person, Bro Oliver, in his dissertion, demonstrates how troubled he is and his need to vent his views so that people, like me and you, would come up with our thoughts and put a share of our voice in this crucial phase of our organization.

Read Bro. Oliver Molina's email.

Everyone have their opinions. Everyone have their own sides. But if you are working for God, is it really right to even have a side, when both sides have their own positive intentions? Isn't it just enough to be focused on the service and the mission work and not have sides? Not that easy, I guess…

So,where do I stand, or to put more more succinctly, what side to I intend to join with?

I will defer myself to the wisdom of the majority (the general membership) and I would encourage my brothers and sisters to have their choice heard by the NCA.

But let me put it in the right perspective…The real issue why CFC IC and FFL split up is the differential and idealogical outlook with regards to Gawad Kalinga (GK) no ifs or buts. It is the root cause of the separation. All other differences were borne out of this core issue and differing views were fruits that grew from this root.

And since the leaders (and the groups) cannot agree on this core subject, it doesn’t mean they cannot support it or they couldn’t CO-EXIST (even in separate entities) to support it in one form or another. We may have an autonomous CFC in Australia, or a IC-aligned CFC or still an FFL-aligned CFC membership, but it doesn’t erase the fact that we are heart and soul CFC, mandated to spread God’s name thru service, fellowship,christian role modelling, family upliftment and social work (GK). Whatever the decision of National Council in Australia will be, we should encourage all other members to support it, work within the frames of our mandate and co-exist with other members who may decide to part ways. God’s work should not be bound by organizational structure, it is universal in nature. Mark 9:40 "For he who is not against us is for us.”

I do not see a permanent solution for this quandary we have a the moment. But we could always work out a temporal accomodation for all these problems just as long as it should be done in the position and character of humility, meekness, peace in our hearts and calmness in spirit.

From my scratchy bible recollection, a reading from the St Paul (Ephesians 4:1-6) “I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beseech you to walk worthily of the calling where with you were called, with all lowliness and meekness, with long suffering, forbearing one another in love; giving diligence to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body, and one Spirit, even as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, and through all, and in all...” show how we should treat discord and seek unity from so many diverse issues we have today. God’s inspired apostle lays down a micro-platform for unity that concerns the two main sources of discord among those who profess to follow Christ. One has to do with temperament, the other with teaching. The recognition of these two problematic areas could go a long way towards healing division.

Personally, if all is done with and we have separate entities or groups, I will not hesitate to serve any other group, whatever alignment they are with, as long as they continue to spread God’s word by transforming lives and being true witnesses of our catholic faith. I would even divide my tithes and share my donation equally to each of those groups.

I’ve joined this community not for the CFC name, nor the organizational structure. I joined this community for I truly believe this is the place I could insignificantly repay God’s blessings to me and at the same fullfill my heart’s desire that other people would also enjoy His blessings by knowing Him and loving Him.

And maybe, Someone up there is just playing with our faith and just so amused by our actions. Keep the faith and always strive to be happy.

Rejoinder

Here is a rejoinder I made to Bro. Gil when he sent me a comment on my previous blog. As usual, his comments are incising and insightful as he is.

Bro. Gil's Email:

First of all, I would like to thank you for sending me these emails - your personal reflections. I must say I am spiritually touched by them. This latest one struck me most.

I could not agree more to everything you've said. There is however, a lingering question in my mind. "How much of your service is addressing the current pressing problem of our community?"

Like you perhaps, I was 'the' top student when I was in High School minor seminary. Every year I was elected as class president even in absentia.
I was the captain of our varsity team, lead musician of our choir, chairman of various committees, editor in chief of the school paper and senior yearbook, then delivered the valedictory address during the graduation. I'd been very busy. But when my classmates and I moved to major college seminary I chose to relinquish the leadership clandestinely. I will never forget when I had to rig the freshman class presidential election so I will lose against a classmate I would like to 'relieve' me of my duties! To this day I have not told anyone about this except my bestfriend in the class who told me that he could not accept the result of the election as he had made the survey and I should have won in a landslide. His disbelief to my revelation has turned into bitterness as he told me that he felt betrayed.He said he had thrown his unequivocal support for me and attracted a number more only to be told that " I was no longer comfortable to be their leader". I had a long talk with him probably in the same lines as your attached email. He accepted my profused apologies but our class had never been the same again. Whenever our group would experience dissention, failed to get the top recognition or "rise to the next level", I bear the guilt of his accusing eyes. This is the guilt which I'll probably endure for the rest of my mortal life.

I must accept that we all have different circumstances in life. My experience can be far fetched from yours. However, I can only deduce similar results, that is: there will be people who will look upon you for leadership once they sensed it on you. And I do witnessed it on you. When Bro Gani et al. requested you to accept (household/unit?) leadership, I believe they were right. I Believe you have the qualities of a leader. What you may not have at the moment maybe is the HUMILITY to accept this fact (that is if we will use St Therese's definition of humility, i.e. Humility is truth. Once I took the pain of approaching a guitarist to applaud his excellent playing. His reply to me was, "Naku, hindi naman". He may thought he was being humble but to me he was just being plain vain modest - an oxymoron term).

I firmly believe Couples for Christ-Australia, particularly our group, is in its current state and is still contemplating "to rise to the next level", is because we always lack the right leaders that will take us where we need to be. So I restate my question: "How much of your service is addressing this current problem of our community?"
But let not my words persuade you. Let us pray instead for the guidance of the Holy Spirit because I believe that no matter how you refuse, if you're just like Jonah, you will not have a choice ultimately when the Lord calls you for service.

Bringing couples to Christ that will renew the face of the earth - our mission and vision, let us instil this deeper in our hearts and minds.

Yours in Christ, Bro Gil

My response:

I was not expecting a comment from you, but nonetheless, thanks for sharing and I greatly appreciate your thoughts. I would like to reply to your question with the following quotes....

The noblest service comes from nameless hands, And the best servant does his work unseen.

OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES

Not the maker of plans and promises, but rather the one who offers faithful SERVICE in small matters. This is the person who is most likely to achieve what is good and lasting.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

To give real SERVICE you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with any standards, and that is sincerity and integrity.

Douglas Adams


In a nutshell, my thoughts of service is not only relegated for the Community. I personally witnessed, long before I joined CFC, how neighbors, friends and even strangers were influenced by the way my family lived the christian values we've been taught to practice. We didn't belong to any community then, no households to lead and no christian fellowship go to. Thus, joining CFC was just a confirmation of that practice.

The pressing problem in the community, as I see it, is not borne out of lack of good leaders. Anybody could be a leader, just motivate them, challenge them, pray for them and show your support and surely they would rise to the occasion. The problem with the community, again as I see it, is the lack of dynamism of the members. We revert back to becoming static after an ecstatic CLP or a spirit-filled praise and worship. We do not keep our momentum because we don't practice the learnings, the values, the truths after those occasions.

Gawad Kalinga, we admit, has become a larger than life ministry of CFC because it keeps its momentum, its focus, its truths and you see the results as they build from one village/house to another. In fact, the World is more aware of Gawad Kalinga than it is aware of CFC. Why? because it has risen to the next level with the help of people who cared, who would spend their time with them, who gave out donations because they see a revealing truth. It is becoming successful not necessarily because of its leaders...but because the genuine concern that its workers have shown and displayed.

What does it have to do with me? I could be good leader...yes. I can be a capable leader...yes. I am ready to become a leader...yes. I am throwing back the question...Would you think that me and the likes of me becoming leaders would address the current problem in our community? I don't think so, because it would be a disservice to the likes of you and the current crop of leaders (who we know are very capable leaders) to think that you failed to address this present problem. You need people like us to brainstorm, to discuss things out but not to Lead.

And that is the premise of my blog...Following the leader - is an action word for us CFC members to do just that, because currently most of us aren't. Not only following the leader also but follow up on the learnings gained after CLP, after any inspirational talk, after any CFC activity. When its members rise to that level, as I believe I and my wife have, then we see people looking up at us a group and they themselves being transformed, being influenced and being evangelized..as what we can see currently with the works the Gawad Kalinga. And you don't need to be a leader to do that.

Just like Luke, the likes of me can chronicle, analyzse, present these things for leaders to be aware of, members to be concerned about and record it for future purposes. And I hope they would listen because we lived, breathe and practice what we preach. And I have already seen the HUMILITY (the TRUTH) as you say and I could comfortably say NO because I know in my heart that God wanted it to be so...not now, not in the near future.

Yours in Faith,

Lorvic

Following the Leader

In the corporate world, there are people who are so-called as business analysts. In the government arena they are called think-tank personnel. In the computing business, systems analysts are their names. The espionage guys call them field agents…and so on and so forth.

These are the people who have immersed themselves and studied the industry where they are in and the results of their work and their deliverables are the stuff that prods their leaders, managers and policy makers to boldy decide what is good for their own respective organization.

These are the people that lives, breathe and practice the trade they have experienced from day one of their lives. The habits and character they accumulated through the years have shaped their lives and their outlook as well as helped shaped and influenced other peoples lives. They are the people who serve the greater whole wholeheartedly by being just there to provide help, offering their advise, sharing their time, develop tactical plans to augment strategic goals. They are the subtle people working in the background..a vital cog which helps drives any group to achieve its goals and mission.

I fancied myself to be one of this kind of people….

This is the realization I got…actually I always tangentially refer to before and after the unit meeting last Saturday with the leaders of the Rael unit’s CFC community. And this is the reason I’ve wanted to express to them (particularly my wife) with regards to their suggestion that I should step up and become a household leader…the ‘real’ reason I’ve declined that ‘offer’ is more personal in nature rather than a performance issue. I really do appreciate the gesture and the value of their appraisal of me with regards to the role…I would if I could, but I can’t, so I wont.

Long before I’ve joined Couples For Christ…I had my share of offers to lead a group, where it be in the neighborhood community we have back in the Philippines or from any group I have the privelege of belonging to. It’s interesting to note that when I was with Coca-Cola for 14 years, I’ve crawled my career way up from a mere casual stores clerk to become the most senior analyst in our group…but never a manager, Though I have 2 colleagues who were just juniors a few years back who did become my boss and the other had been promoted to lead another group. I was never promoted NOT because I was not qualified or just typically bypassed by office politics. I didn’t get the roles because I declined the promotion that was offered to me in the first place…yes...I REFUSED it.

The reason I refused those leadership roles and other opportunities to lead is the same reason I refused the role being suggested by my Brothers and Sisters…because my heart doesn’t desire for it and I know I would be able to contribute my skills and my experience in a position where I am most comfortable and efficient with. Doing something you love with the right tools you have is better than using the same tools in doing something you don’t enjoy doing.

It’s like building a skyscraper…both an architect and a civil engineer generally could be a project manager to lead in building it. But both of them would prefer to contribute their skills in the way they love it..architects designs the building…the engineer sees to it that is built according to the plan. I could be that architect or that engineer, but I could never be that project manager…there are guys who would love to do it (not necessarily an engineer or an architect)…but not me.

I’m inclined to adhere to the Peter’s Principle (as developed by the famous sociologist J.Laurence Peter) which states that..in every Hierarchy, a person tends to rise to his level of incompetence… A person’s incompetence is not necessarily exposed as a result of the higher-ranking position being "more difficult" — it may be simply that the position is different from the position in which the person previously excelled, and thus requires different skills, which the person may not possess. An example used by Peter involves a factory worker whose excellence at his work results in him being promoted into a management position, in which the skills that got him promoted in the first place are no longer of any use.

More so, my perception of a good leader is far from what I have currently in my character and outlook. I don’t have the controlled and Solomonic-like character of Bro. Gani, the spirit-filled St.Paul like personality of Bro. Boyet. The St. Peter like temperament and strong disposition of Bro. Roy. The Elijah type and questioning persona of Bro. Raul nor the ambivalent character of Isaiah in Bro. Edwin. Those five biblical persona were leaders in their time and have had good followers in the spread of the faith.

I’d rather consider myself like Luke, the apostle-writer, never a leader but gained recognition as a chronicler of the lives of Jesus, the apostles and St. Paul. He was the silent companion of St. Paul and his ministry. He preached thru his active work for the poor and care for the sick (he is the patron saint of Physicians). Luke's unique analytical perspective on Jesus can be seen in the six miracles and eighteen parables not found in the other gospels. Luke's is the gospel of the poor and of social justice. It is only in his gospel that we hear the parable of the Good Samaritan. And I could well relate to him in terms of character and outlook…the type of guy who works in the background just like all the people in my first paragraph’s premise.

My wife and I during this Christian Life Program, though physicall drained, are spiritually-fullfilled, when we’ve touched other peoples lives through the service we render to them and to the example we give them. We don’t need to lead others to help them transform their lives. Our actions and the way we live bespeaks for itself. We cannot be sheperds to a flock of sheep but we are part of the good flock that helps gathers the lost sheep or prevents one from getting lost thru the bond of brotherhood and sisterhood.

Our dedication and commitment to this community is part and parcel of our desire to be perfect in HIS eyes. Though we know we can’t achieve that in this lifetime, we know that in the after life, God’s pat on our back is enough for us to feel the perfection we desire for.

And I hope and pray that by this example we have…my children and my children’s children would pave the way for a life worthy of God’s love and grace.

As what Mahatma Gandhi stirringly said… Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy…