Another chance

A tribute to our Dad, Loreto written by my sister Loreen.

ANOTHER CHANCE

Last weekend, my dad , at 79 years old, passed away. I once wrote in this column how I have gone through many years of bitterness against my father and that even when he finally got so sick, it took me some time to accept him back. I totally ignored the eventuality that he will pass out of this world without my forgiveness.

But as I have already shared before, God healed me from my hurts and pains and ever since I started to forgive him and cared for him, it was a liberating experience for me. I never felt so happy and peaceful. That is why when he did pass away last Saturday evening, I bore a mixture of feelings---loneliness and relief at the same time.

I felt a sense of loss because no matter how he has lived his life, he was still my Dad. I owed my life to him. He gave me the best foundation in education that made me what I am now. I inherited from him the passion and dedication towards all things I do and he taught me to be emotionally strong and persevering.

At the same time, I also felt relief and peace that he was finally laid to rest from all the physical pains he had endured all these years. As my younger brother said, “Daddy has redeem himself with his suffering and peacefully died in God's hand.”

My Dad struggled with the Alzheimer’s disease and in the last few months, battled with severe anemia, prolonged pneumonia, lung infection, bed sores, bacterial and streptococci infections of the skin, severe muscular atrophy, deep compression of the T12 spine (which left him open to paralysis in case of a hard fall), and severe scolosis (because of his age). But despite these complications, we knew his mind and ears remained alert because he still responded actively.

Lately his condition started to deteriorate and we often wondered what he was still hanging on to. We could not help but pray to God to please end his sufferings. But he continued to hang on to dear life.

That fateful Saturday night, a friend advised me to just offer my Dad’s suffering to God since these are actually purifying and cleansing him spiritually; and that at the end of all suffering, will be heaven. She said I should let God deal with my Dad in His loving way because the suffering is really redeeming my Dad for God.

I felt good that night. But not for long. I got the alert call to rush to the hospital, but I did not make it on time. He was dead upon arrival. I shamelessly cried and for a while, wanted to shake him back to life. But God’s peace came over me and the rest of the family all throughout the wake, the burial and I am sure in the days to come.

One beautiful message I got from my Dad’s death is God’s amazing love and grace. Who would have given him a good stretch of period to redeem himself from sin through suffering but God alone? If God so willed it, my Dad would have died anytime without receiving communion regularly, without confessing his sins, without asking forgiveness from the people he hurt, without surrendering his stubborn streak and show humility and gentleness.

But God, in His all loving grace, allowed him to live long enough to do all these things. God made use of Dad’s suffering period to teach him to pray even more and come closer to His presence. We saw all these happen and I can not express enough thanks to God for the chance of redemption for my Dad.

I believe that every day is God’s way of giving all of us a chance to redeem ourselves from any sin ; to turn away from the worldly life and seek God above all things. And so every time we are able to still wake up in the morning, we need to say, “Thank you God for another chance. What is it I can surrender to you in exchange for a place in Heaven?”

If we can only have this kind of eternal perspective ---making sure that every day is lived in a way to ensure a life in heaven. But the way it is today, material possessions, reputation, popularity, and the pleasures of the senses have become of paramount importance. We devote almost all our time and energy to obtain these things and sadly, engage in many negative actions for their sake.

But God so loved us that He will do anything EVERY DAY to call us to let go of worldly concerns and instead give more room for genuine spiritual practice. He lets us breathe each day to give us this chance every day to obtain our salvation.

“Thank you Lord for being so patient with us…for loving us so much that You not only gave Your only Son, but you still continue to give us a chance to redeem and save ourselves for Your Kingdom.”

My Dad, through his suffering, had just received God’s gift of salvation. As a tribute to my Dad, I would like to quote my cousin who loved my Dad as her favorite uncle. She wrote: “You know and will always remember that your Daddy had only his family's - most especially his children's - best interests at heart. Make no apologies for that. He worked to provide the best for all of you to prepare you for a better future. I saw that - we all saw that - and, fully understood. I hope that you will always keep that knowledge in your hearts.”

I know that we, his children, have all turned out to be a great source of credit and pride to him. And we are proud of him, too. Truly, his life has not been in vain. Find rest in God’s loving arms, Dad!