Follow Through...

Today, I’ll break away from my self-imposed mandate to suspend myself in updating this blog because it makes no sense yielding myself to insanity. I earlier thought that writing my thoughts online makes no sense because you’ll end up with the Catch 22 syndrome, a no-win dilemna  or paradox, similar to damned if I do, damned if I don’t. You see, here is my predicament…“I can’t write a blog unless I have a time for myself, but I can’t have a time for myself unless a write a blog.

It just makes me insane…

Well, I’ve just thrown out my self-imposition to the window and I’m here back to my old self. Doing what I love most…writing (actually only third in the line after loving God and loving my family).

Yesterday, my daughter Leanne informed me as a matter-of-factly that she got a well deserved 92+ UAI after her HSC. She asked me then if I was happy with the result. Gosh, I looked at my lovely daughter incredulously as she were an alien from outer space and replied in two words “Are you?” Of course, I know she was but before she can come up with a reply, I quickly revealed to her that have I been a father who had her tutored to every single lesson in high-school or who demanded academic excellence like a drill sargeant barking at recruits at Westpoint then I wouldn’t be happy at all with the result. But I’m not that father.

I told her, that as a father, and she can confirm it from experience, I only exact three things from my children…be true to yourself,  believe in yourself and let God  lead you to what you want in life. And all other things you would desire would just follow and flow through in you. (Easy to write that, but I was stuttering when I told that to my daughter).

I proceeded (again as usual!)  with litanies of past life experiences where in the midst of adversities  and challenges, I was able to shine through it all not entirely because of my skills and intelligence. But because I made the choice of believing I can and I ask ed God to give me the grace to accept what fate and destiny would provide me.

Having achieved a certain grade or mark in your endeavors is relative to the effort and sacrifice you’ve made to attain that goal and most importantly what you’ve learned through that whole process in preparing for HSC.

Joy and I, for one, are truly happy for our daughter Leanne. She had to overcome the sensitive issue of being a newly arrived migrant, the exigency to belong, the oppressions of being a sister to six siblings, the pressure to follow the achievement made by  her elder brother and of course the complications of having her first boyfriend. For us, having to overcome these ‘inconveniences’ is an achievement far greater in stature than the HSC/UAI marks she got. Life is like that, the journey is the essence and not only the destination.

I told her Leanne then that this is a start of more journies she had go through and many crossroads and intersections she would encounter to test her faith in herself and God that sometimes she may be tempted the make shortcuts and lose herself in the process.

The greater challenge for her and for each on us, as christians, is along the lines that Ralph Waldo Emerson has once said… Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail (for others to follow) 

Father's Day

Yesterday,  the people of the Land Down under celebrated its Father's day. Australia and NZ has set up a different day to remember all fathers as against other countries in the world, and it is usually the first sunday of September.

Anyway, nothing much happened at home for me...yet everything I've always desired to be on a Father's day have come to pass. Joy my wife, has fashioned out two delicious cakes for me and the family. All my children woke up early than usual on a weekend (8 am instead of 11 am) and over breakfast swapped and bantered humorous stories, jokes and whatever Comedy Channel can come up with...they had a version. The gags  stretched till lunctime in the midst of weekend household cleaning chores and child-minding. The noise in the house reverbated with boisteroous laughter and frenzied exchange of hilarious stories and tales from the family's past and future expectations.

Because of the early and hyperactive activity we had that morning, all of us had a quiet and peaceful nap in the afternoon. After peeking into each of my childrens room and saw all of them soundly asleep - the silence and solitude of our home and a gentle breeze of cool air in a late and warm afternoon somehow overwhelmed me with peace and serenity I haven't felt for a while. During that still moment I prayed and thanked God for this wonderful blessing of life and family. 

I wouldn't exchange that few minutes of heavenly peace, silence and serenity I felt with any promotions, material wealth, recognition or any worldly lure of this world. I have what many people in the world didn't have - a  wonderful wife, a warm and adoring children - a family that defines LOVE as both a subject and a predicate.

My family gifted me yesterday with things without having spent a single cent...Joy cooked me my favorite food, Arvic hugged me when I woke up, Joylene scripted a comic style card with anecdotes, Lorenz gave me a handwritten card, May tried her best to shut her mouth up, the two little ones gave me their best smiles and lastly, Leanne, wrote me a letter that made me misty-eyed for few minutes...read on...

Dear Dad,  

      I am sitting here tonight with my laptop; contemplating on ways on how I can express my heartfelt gratitude to you as being the world’s number one dad as best as I can. As much as I want to buy you that coffee machine you always adore or another gizmo gadget containing how many God knows what gigabytes; I’m currently unemployed and only have few pennies in my pocket. Yet it doesn’t mean that I could not express my deep gratitude for you. After all, I know you’d rather opt to choose Lorenz’s handwritten card that he would painstakingly draw for you than gushing over a new coffee machine. So I guess my Father’s Day gift for 2008 would be through this prose coming from the deep recesses of my heart and memories.

      For eighteen years; I have seen different types of dads everywhere and I can tell you; no one would ever equate or be better as you. You gave up your youth; you gave up your idealistic dreams and goals for yourself and decided to take on the responsibility to be the father of my mummy’s child. I can tell you now, that it was a brave decision for you to do it. Mum always told me that it was a mistake for both of you to settle together way too early. Yet she always stresses that you have tried your best to stand firm on your decision and continue to fight on even when the tides of hardships and struggles would try to sweep you away. You always reassure us that everything will be fine and you have everything under control. I truly salute you for that and I am forever indebted.

      But Dad, for the last few years; I am starting to see the struggles beyond the creases of your forehead and I realise that you too can be futile and weak at times. Your strength and courage sometimes makes me forget that you are still human too and you have flaws; frustrations and weaknesses too. Sometimes, I shake my head and try to tolerate your moods; your obsessive penchants over time and punctuality and your high levels of stress. I can understand that for it is not easy to handle seven kids with distinctive personalities. It is not easy for you to be a breadwinner of eight people living in a foreign land; away from your parents and the rest of your family. Yet despite of your flaws; you seemed to look perfect and in control most of the times. You try to correct your errs; improve on your skills; mend broken pieces as possible; putting up our own flaws and misdemeanours and try to be patient. Slowly I realise that being a dad for seven kids is very arduous. Yet you strive to be the best dad by providing us the best of many worlds to us. Whenever I feel down and feeling lost at sea; I would stop and think about you and mum.  Both of you have sacrificed and endured a lot of painful realities of life that I would never experience in my own lifetime. I am truly thankful for that for eternity. 532 words is not enough for me to express my heartfelt appreciation for all the things you have done for me in the last eighteen years. I hope this piece of letter would still remind you that I love you dad and no one can replace that love and inspiration; regardless of how much salary I would earn in the future or how many boyfriends I would have.( heheheh) You’re still my number one man. 

HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!! 

Driving Lessons

As I was lying in a hospital bed beside my sick son, Joseph, I felt a sense of peace and solitude I haven't experienced for a long time. 18 hours ago, my near panicking wife and I bitterly argued whether to bring Joseph to the hospital or not. My wife adamantly wanted to bring him immediately and I, the stubborn mule, was against it arguing to wait for my son to let his rackety tack coughing subside at the same time trying to avoid the stress and burden of a hospital stay.

I finally relented to my wife's wish, after I silently prayed to God for help and discernment. As usual, my wife was right – my son had mild pneumonia with asthma complications and it was the right thing to do, as the doctors said, to have brought him to the emergency immediately.

I felt so ashamed of myself risking my son's health and life because of my stubborn attitude. I was not listening to God when Joy and I were praying over to him. In that brief moment of time, I succumbed to the temptation of the flesh and selfishness and did not rest my faith in Him. I failed the values I preached to others – I failed to let go and let God guide my decisions.

Now as I look at my son peacefully sleeping, I had to kneel down beside him and silently asked forgiveness to this beautiful boy of mine. I cried and after that I felt a sense of peace and comfort embracing me at that moment. God was touching me, reminding me not to worry and quitely admonishing me.

That moment gave me some thoughts and reflection on how we (as Christians) deal with stressful situations and difficulties we have in life. We tend to, first and foremost, rely on our human capacities to solve problems and resolve struggles and oppressions we run into each day. We forgot (unconsciously or consciously) to pray first and ask God for help.

Think about it, if our life is like a car, where would be God in this car of our lives?

Some of us would put God in the boot of our car. Where you will only pull him out during Sunday happy hour or religious event (like Christmas or Easter), display him, and afterwards stuff him back on the boot.

Some of us would put him in the backseat of our car – visible on our rear view mirror while we drive towards our destination. We make him only a passenger we can talk to, keeping us company so as not to bore the driving trip. A few those, put him in the front of the car, yet still a passenger.

Now many would argue that God is driving the car of their life. If that is so, the next question would be, where are you in that car? Some of us (like me, I guess), even though God is driving the car, are backseat drivers. We argue and squabble with Him on the route we choose to go. At a roundabout, God would try to turn right to the street of Forgiveness and we bicker with Him and tell Him to drive into the road to Hate and Selfishness. At the next traffic light, God would slow down to the lane of Humilty and we'd rather tell him to go straight ahead to the avenue of Pride.

We always fail to let Him drive our car by His will on the best way he knows. We'd rather think, our route and our way is best for us. And still, because of our stubbornness, when we are lost along the way or encounter 'car accidents' in our life, we blame Him for his driving ways.

Come to think of it, we never let him lead us the way. When we started renewing ourselves with our Christian faith, we are just like the 'L' learner drivers – God the instructor is guiding, teaching, inculcating in us the right and the best to drive. And once we get our 'P's (sometimes equals to Pride), we forget about them displaying to the whole world our hard-earned driving skills.

What happened a few days back is a bitter lesson for me – that not to depend on me and always let God drive and guide my decisions – for he is and will always be…The Way, the Truth and the Life.

DOUBLE 4

The title of my post today is not a pseudonym of a spy but a representation of my age as of yesterday. I would have liked to celebrate my natal day with rants about anything else but my scholarly daughter Leanne jumped the gun on me when she hastily wrote me a poem she delivered as I woke up on that momentus day, my other daughter May gave me a card with her message, another daughter Joylene drew a sketch of her and me walking. My son Arvic gifted me with tennis racquet built on nanotechnology...and of course my wife gave me things that is of practical use that I would never buy myself...

Well, here's Leanne's poem: (I finally realized how well she writes...)

You were 24
When you first held kuya
In your hard work clipped hands
For the very first time
Two years and two months later
You celebrated your 26th
With mum and two babies at your side
A little boy who just turned one and a toothless baby girl

You turned 28
While mummy was 7 months due
With another XX chromosome human
I could not remember what it really happened
And neither Kuya did
The pictures too, failed to capture it as well
But I bet mum could still recall everything

You blew your 31 candles
It was 31 plus 4 days after my youngest sister was conceived
She was this scrawny and a screaming machine
You came home from work or either it was during the weekend
I did not forget that we ate mum’s cake inside our humble house

Five years later, you woke up on your 36th birthday
Mum was still six years younger than you (and still is!)
As the sun rose up in our primitive glass windows
It was three months since the Y2K kicked off
You were 36 with 4 mouths to feed
And another baby on the way..

It was the year 2006
When you were officially 41
It was autumn and the leaves were falling madly
In our new Australian backyard
We were wearing cardigans and the folks from home called
Singing "Happy Birthday" in muffled tones from miles away
Mum was feeding baby Joseph; your first aussie child
And your five children were happily playing badminton outside

I could look up to Google and type March 15
And itll give you millions of results
Millions of March 15’s..
Of both past and present tense
From Caesar’s death to Andrew Jackson
The Word of the Day, The Daily News
And the "This Day in History"
Yet why should I bother?
They are all infinitesimal
They do not matter

All I know is that
Four decades and four years ago
My dad, my hero and my mum’s love
Was brought here from the heavens
and I’m thankful he did
He has not disappointed any of our birthdays
And we will not miss his one as well!
He’s the greatest!

This may sound so childish and silly
Like eating a marshmallow pie
I hope you do like this poem
Though it does not have
Any iambic pentameter
Nor it does not rhyme…
I wish you more years to come
More than the total sum
Of all the numbers here
We wish you blessings
Hundred times over
More than we could ever think of

As your seven children and your wife sing you
Birthday greetings full of love, cheer and happiness
Don’t forget well be always here for you
As you are with us
Throughout the years passed and the years to come
So Happy Birthday Dad!!
From our toes and the tips of our hair
WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!!!

A Time for Grief...

In the midst of several grieving brothers and sisters we have (including me) on the loss of loved ones, we may tend to contemplate and ponder on death, whether tragic, sudden or anticipated and ask WHY this is happening. Some really good questions have arisen that take us into the heart of God, suffering and life. I thought I might spend a bit of time on the blog answering some of these questions asked (I asked).

There are times, we look above and incredulously ask Him the following:

* Why is God letting this happen to me (or mine)?
* Why do good people suffer?
* Couldn't God have prevented this bad thing from happening to me?
* Why should I serve God? Look what's happened to me.
* I've been faithful to God all these years, and look what He's done to me.
* I gave up everything to serve God. Why is He allowing these things?

While these questions are quite normal coming out from out thoughts and emotions, I came to realize we are asking the wrong questions using the wrong premise...That if I am a good Christian and do everything I think God wants me to, He will always take care of me and my loved ones; I am safe and will not suffer.

If we read the Bible and the underlying scriptures you will realize that where in scriptures are we promised health? Where are we promised wealth? Where are we promised anything except that God loves us and will not leave us? Where does it say that our mate will not die? Where are we promised our children will be healthy? God does provide and God does care for us and God does watch over us, but does He guarantee? Does it mean you are favored of God if nothing bad ever happens to you?

Seems like many believers like me have a really hard time realizing that there are no guarantees in scripture for believers other than the two basic ones, and that is..God loves us and will never leave us.

The number one question I've heard is a variation on "why on earth would God let something like this happen? He or she's an amazing person who is serving God. Of all people, why him/her?"

The short answer is always disappointing: I'm not sure we specifically know why it happened. We can talk about he was sick, a robbery, a car losing control etc. But underneath is a bigger idea of God we need to name. I wonder how many of us still carry a picture of God as a puppeteer who directly pulls every strings in our lives? That view of God often blames God for all the bad in our lives and in the world. (Rarely does it give him credit for good, though).

I'm not sure that's the picture of God we get in the Bible. Occasionally God is shown as directly causing calamity -- but not often, and most often not individually. Every death or tragedy that happened in the Bible is not described as the result of an angry God harming people. Even Jesus infers that tragedy is often random. And the overall picture of God in the Bible is of a God rescuing people from a very present and real evil.

The Bible paints a picture of a world that was once ideal (in the beginning), became corrupted (when sin entered the world) and is in the process of being redeemed (through the cross, resurrection and second coming of Jesus). While we long for heaven, we don't live there yet, and the world we in fact live in is one deeply scarred by sin. If an analogy is helpful, it's like buying a new computer that runs perfectly for a while and then gets infected by a virus. When the virus invades it, things are still recognizable, but nothing really works like it was supposed to. That's what life, infected by sin, is like. Good people get hurt. "Bad" people live to be a 100. It's just corrupted.

I'm not sure we know why bad things happen to good people other than the whole system has been corrupted, and nothing is as it once was or will be.

But -- and this is a huge but -- God's redemptive purpose can be at work in every situation. Joseph perfectly illustrates how God can take a terrible situation (He was sold, was a slave, imprisoned) and use it for good (Helped the pharaoh, saved the land from famine, reunited his family). Similarly, God can take all things (good and bad) and use them somehow for his glory if we submit them to him.

I think if we keep framing the question the way we usually ask it (why do bad things happen to good people or why did God let this happen), we'll always be disappointed with the lack of an answer.

If we re-frame the issue in recognition of the fact that we are still living in a fallen world, and ask it this way -- what can God do in the midst of this bad situation if we offer it to him? -- we might be surprised to see what can happen in our lives.

This isn't a neat and tidy answer, but it has helped me immensely as I've tried to make sense of the pain in my life and the pain I've experience in other people's lives and situations.

Let us continue to pray for the souls of Loreto, Elena, Raymond and Ada and for comfort and solace to families of Sis Chona Pasion and Sis Cate Bachar in these days of pain and grief.

A Humble Thank you....

Peace Borthers and Sisters...

First and foremost, please know how blessed we are to count ourselves part of this community we have. There is simply nothing we can write to adequately express our deep feelings of gratitude for the kindness and compassion you have shown to our family since my Dad passed away and the sincere effort you've shown to be with us in the 9 Days Novena prayer for him.

It is literally impossible to quantify and properly thank you for all of the prayers you have prayed, the meals you have delivered, the words of comfort you have offered, the thoughtful tributes you have conveyed, and the kind expressions of sympathy you have provided to us. The monies you have shared were ample assistance as we have sent it to my family in the Philippines.

We hope you will understand how our family has found comfort in the unique and continuous ways so many of you have expressed your concern for us. While our sorrow has indeed been stretched, we have felt God's tender love and embrace directly through you and your faithful kindness. As you continue to care for us and share your condolences, we are reminded of and comforted by the fact that my Dad has a bountiful of people praying for him as he await the gates of heaven.

We also would like to inform you that thru your prayers, our baby, Caiden Luke, has been cleared of his gastro-kidney problems after several tests in Westmead Children's hospital and would no longer need to continue the medicines//antibiotics he has been taking since he was born. The Lord may also be praised for showing negative results for Sis Joy who has undergone breast ultrasound after complaining to a strange lump and painful numbness in her breast area.

Once again, Sis Joy and our children sincerely appreciates your kindness most especially to Bro. Ganni and Sis Flery, whose guiding force and untiring service truly reflects the christian leadership that is needed during these trying and uncertain times in our community. We ask that God to continue to give them and all of us the strength to walk by faith.

We found solace in God's loving mercy and are truly humbled by your kindness and presence during the Novena prayers.

In faith and may God be always praised...

Lorvic and Joy Osorio

Another chance

A tribute to our Dad, Loreto written by my sister Loreen.

ANOTHER CHANCE

Last weekend, my dad , at 79 years old, passed away. I once wrote in this column how I have gone through many years of bitterness against my father and that even when he finally got so sick, it took me some time to accept him back. I totally ignored the eventuality that he will pass out of this world without my forgiveness.

But as I have already shared before, God healed me from my hurts and pains and ever since I started to forgive him and cared for him, it was a liberating experience for me. I never felt so happy and peaceful. That is why when he did pass away last Saturday evening, I bore a mixture of feelings---loneliness and relief at the same time.

I felt a sense of loss because no matter how he has lived his life, he was still my Dad. I owed my life to him. He gave me the best foundation in education that made me what I am now. I inherited from him the passion and dedication towards all things I do and he taught me to be emotionally strong and persevering.

At the same time, I also felt relief and peace that he was finally laid to rest from all the physical pains he had endured all these years. As my younger brother said, “Daddy has redeem himself with his suffering and peacefully died in God's hand.”

My Dad struggled with the Alzheimer’s disease and in the last few months, battled with severe anemia, prolonged pneumonia, lung infection, bed sores, bacterial and streptococci infections of the skin, severe muscular atrophy, deep compression of the T12 spine (which left him open to paralysis in case of a hard fall), and severe scolosis (because of his age). But despite these complications, we knew his mind and ears remained alert because he still responded actively.

Lately his condition started to deteriorate and we often wondered what he was still hanging on to. We could not help but pray to God to please end his sufferings. But he continued to hang on to dear life.

That fateful Saturday night, a friend advised me to just offer my Dad’s suffering to God since these are actually purifying and cleansing him spiritually; and that at the end of all suffering, will be heaven. She said I should let God deal with my Dad in His loving way because the suffering is really redeeming my Dad for God.

I felt good that night. But not for long. I got the alert call to rush to the hospital, but I did not make it on time. He was dead upon arrival. I shamelessly cried and for a while, wanted to shake him back to life. But God’s peace came over me and the rest of the family all throughout the wake, the burial and I am sure in the days to come.

One beautiful message I got from my Dad’s death is God’s amazing love and grace. Who would have given him a good stretch of period to redeem himself from sin through suffering but God alone? If God so willed it, my Dad would have died anytime without receiving communion regularly, without confessing his sins, without asking forgiveness from the people he hurt, without surrendering his stubborn streak and show humility and gentleness.

But God, in His all loving grace, allowed him to live long enough to do all these things. God made use of Dad’s suffering period to teach him to pray even more and come closer to His presence. We saw all these happen and I can not express enough thanks to God for the chance of redemption for my Dad.

I believe that every day is God’s way of giving all of us a chance to redeem ourselves from any sin ; to turn away from the worldly life and seek God above all things. And so every time we are able to still wake up in the morning, we need to say, “Thank you God for another chance. What is it I can surrender to you in exchange for a place in Heaven?”

If we can only have this kind of eternal perspective ---making sure that every day is lived in a way to ensure a life in heaven. But the way it is today, material possessions, reputation, popularity, and the pleasures of the senses have become of paramount importance. We devote almost all our time and energy to obtain these things and sadly, engage in many negative actions for their sake.

But God so loved us that He will do anything EVERY DAY to call us to let go of worldly concerns and instead give more room for genuine spiritual practice. He lets us breathe each day to give us this chance every day to obtain our salvation.

“Thank you Lord for being so patient with us…for loving us so much that You not only gave Your only Son, but you still continue to give us a chance to redeem and save ourselves for Your Kingdom.”

My Dad, through his suffering, had just received God’s gift of salvation. As a tribute to my Dad, I would like to quote my cousin who loved my Dad as her favorite uncle. She wrote: “You know and will always remember that your Daddy had only his family's - most especially his children's - best interests at heart. Make no apologies for that. He worked to provide the best for all of you to prepare you for a better future. I saw that - we all saw that - and, fully understood. I hope that you will always keep that knowledge in your hearts.”

I know that we, his children, have all turned out to be a great source of credit and pride to him. And we are proud of him, too. Truly, his life has not been in vain. Find rest in God’s loving arms, Dad!

WHEN WE WORRY...

For us all (most especially in the Perez Household) who are experiencing oppressions, worries and challenges at the moment. Let me share you my thoughts and I hope and pray it may somehow lighten the burden we are carrying...

Please continue to pray for healing to Sis Rose, Ronald Sapin, Yolanda Duque, Joseph Benedict Orlan and my own Dad Loreto. And most of all to Bro Roy and his family - his Mom and siblings in the Philippines - who are at the moment being barraged by ill-health and gloominess within their ranks.

Hold on and keep the faith...
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WHEN WE WORRY....

You've been on my mind and heart. I see you struggling and planning, worrying and sweating, crying and running, at a furious pace. You're trying to move that mountain by yourself again, huh?

God asks that we cast all our cares on Him because He cares. Think about what your worrying says to God when you refuse to give things over to Him.

When you worry about money, you're telling Him that He is unable to provide for His children ...that although He has riches beyond belief in Heaven, He is too stingy to share them with you.

When you worry that no one understands you, you're telling Him that although He has been with you since before you were formed in the womb, and has carved you into the palm of His hand, He doesn't know you.

When you worry that you will not have enough food, you're telling Him that although He rained down bread from Heaven in the desert to feed His children, you are the one He's forgotten.

When you worry that your enemies will have victory over you, you're telling God that although He has given you spiritual battlegear to defend yourself, that despite His track record of being a giant slayer, Red Sea divider, lion mouth closer and a furnace cooler, He can't handle your co-worker, your neighbor or a former friend.

When you worry that your children have decided to follow the world instead of your example, you're telling God that He doesn't keep His promises.... That despite the fact that you have raised them up in the way they should go, they'll stray because basically, He lied.

When you worry because the doctors told you that a cure is impossible, that healing is impossible, you're telling Him that this world controls your fate. You're saying that prayer time with Him is nearly something to pass the time. You're saying that although He can raise the dead, make a virgin conceive, open the womb of a woman well past eighty, heal a 12 year issue of blood, make the blind see and the lame walk, He can't help you.

When you worry that you won't be able to do enough to earn forgiveness, you're telling Him "that's ok Lord, no need for Your Son to die, I can earn my own forgiveness. " Let's just act like Jesus never died, and tell Him never mind, that He doesn't need to go to the cross.

When you worry that no one will love you, that you'll be lonely for the rest of your life, you're telling Him that His love is insufficient ... that He couldn't possibly love you enough to ward away loneliness. You're saying that although He has promised life more abundantly, He was lying .... that despite the fact that He started off saying that it is not good that we be alone, He's changed His mind.

When you worry and refuse to give the problem over to Him, you're telling Him that although He could create the world, He can't handle what's going on in your world, so you will. You are saying that He won't work things out, that obstacles cannot be overcome, that mountains can't be climbed, that healing cannot occur, that what is lost will not be found, that joy does not come in the morning, that He is not the God of a second chance, that the promised land has been swallowed up by the desert, that you have discovered the height, depth and width of His love and found it to fall short of your needs.

Think about all that you're saying to the one who loves you the most and who has all power, really think about it. Then open you hands and release what you've been holding onto. Bow down on your knees and ask Him to forgive you for doubting Him. Walk away with a peaceful heart and note the footsteps that go before you to make the crooked places straight, a way in the wilderness, and later springing forth in the desert.

"Stand in a stream with waters around your ankles. The waters that pass by you at that moment, you will never see again. So it is with the misery that has challenged your life ... let it go, let it pass away."