As I sat staring at the luminous lcd monitor at work I suddenly felt the urge to write…
It’s been a while since I had my last piece of creative prose and today, the gnawing feeling to put down my thoughts makes me feel like a boy ready to burst as he rushes to a nearby toilet room. You can just lost touch of everybody and everything around you as you dash and anticipate the glorious relief of liberation.
I suddenly realized that the ‘boy rushing to the toilet’ analogy has characterized my lifestyle this year. A year fraught with last minute, beat the buzzer, neck to neck and photo finish situations where I just had to stretch myself and hold on to holding on.
In fact, my state of being stressed to the limit manifests itself when I’m in a toilet - I had flush it while I’m still discharging myself so I could save the precious seconds in flushing it afterwards…just plain crazy.
The year is almost over and looking back to the events what went through the year made me realize how fortunate (or say how blessed) I am to have emotionally survived the relentless barrage and juggling demands of work, community and family in the midst of sleepless nights and engaging days. The never ending commitment to be there and everywhere.
Sometimes I entertain myself with selfish thoughts that I always toy around when I face (dis)stressful times….
…How I wish my wife and I were back in 1988 holding hands walking around Fort San Pedro enjoying the scenery rather than holding at the steering wheel as we drive and rush along and merely passing by the scenery to be there for a scheduled activity.
…How I wish my eldest son Arvic was still 4 years old listening to my crazy stories while in bed and not the 21 year-old young man commenting on my crazy behavior.
…How I wish I still have my daughters arguing with each other who would I hug and carry around first in my arms rather than argue with me about their boyfriends.
…How I wish I could hide in my room and read the intriguiging novels of the day rather than engage myself with difficult people with different personalities.
…How I wish Life would just simply pass by quietly away from the turmoil and complications of today.
But again, it is that aggressive activity that makes life exciting and worth living.
How fitting it is as I read the Psalm reading for today and take comfort from the verses (PS 1:1-2,3,4,6) - those who follow you Lord, will have the light of life. There and then I know and I believe holds the key to everything that will put sense and meaning to the volatile and myriad entity I called Life.
And as Christmas is fast (rushing again!) approaching, there is but one way to celebrate it every year – a period to allow ourselves to be still, pause and listen to what God has been saying to us for more than 2000 years - Matthew 3:17: This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. The statement broadly means that only thru his Son, Jesus Christ, and by following Him, God’s grace and light would be upon us.
No ardous task is insourmountable…
No difficult situation is tricky to overcome…
No broken relationship is strenous to mend…
No tight finances is tough to manage…
No grave sickness is easy to give up…
No stubborn soul is challenging to save…
As long as….
You lift up to Him or lay it before before the little Child in a manger who has to come down from His mighty perch to be among us and be with us frail humans - God’s image and likeness but besieged with weaknesses of pride, envy, greed and anger. It is ONLY through him that we could ever counter these sins with virtues he has graced us – faith, hope, charity, prudence and temperance.
With these thoughts finally sinking into my mind (and my heart)…I felt a deep comfort despite and inspite of the pile of papers on my desk, the ever growing bills to pay, the stress of raising and leading a big family, the demanding role to support and lead couples (with more or less the same situation in life but with varying degrees of mindset and outlook…which makes it more difficult!).
Now, I can celebrate christmas truly with the right disposition…knowing that somewhere up there a relieved God has just removed a very tiny thorn that has been pricking at his foot for a while now.
Have a blessed season….
