Today, I’ll break away from my self-imposed mandate to suspend myself in updating this blog because it makes no sense yielding myself to insanity. I earlier thought that writing my thoughts online makes no sense because you’ll end up with the Catch 22 syndrome, a no-win dilemna or paradox, similar to damned if I do, damned if I don’t. You see, here is my predicament…“I can’t write a blog unless I have a time for myself, but I can’t have a time for myself unless a write a blog.
It just makes me insane…
Yesterday, my daughter Leanne informed me as a matter-of-factly that she got a well deserved 92+ UAI after her HSC. She asked me then if I was happy with the result. Gosh, I looked at my lovely daughter incredulously as she were an alien from outer space and replied in two words “Are you?” Of course, I know she was but before she can come up with a reply, I quickly revealed to her that have I been a father who had her tutored to every single lesson in high-school or who demanded academic excellence like a drill sargeant barking at recruits at Westpoint then I wouldn’t be happy at all with the result. But I’m not that father.
I told her, that as a father, and she can confirm it from experience, I only exact three things from my children…be true to yourself, believe in yourself and let God lead you to what you want in life. And all other things you would desire would just follow and flow through in you. (Easy to write that, but I was stuttering when I told that to my daughter).
I proceeded (again as usual!) with litanies of past life experiences where in the midst of adversities and challenges, I was able to shine through it all not entirely because of my skills and intelligence. But because I made the choice of believing I can and I ask ed God to give me the grace to accept what fate and destiny would provide me.
Having achieved a certain grade or mark in your endeavors is relative to the effort and sacrifice you’ve made to attain that goal and most importantly what you’ve learned through that whole process in preparing for HSC.
Joy and I, for one, are truly happy for our daughter Leanne. She had to overcome the sensitive issue of being a newly arrived migrant, the exigency to belong, the oppressions of being a sister to six siblings, the pressure to follow the achievement made by her elder brother and of course the complications of having her first boyfriend. For us, having to overcome these ‘inconveniences’ is an achievement far greater in stature than the HSC/UAI marks she got. Life is like that, the journey is the essence and not only the destination.
I told her Leanne then that this is a start of more journies she had go through and many crossroads and intersections she would encounter to test her faith in herself and God that sometimes she may be tempted the make shortcuts and lose herself in the process.
The greater challenge for her and for each on us, as christians, is along the lines that Ralph Waldo Emerson has once said… Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail (for others to follow)
